Jen's Diary
by That Elusive Reader
Summary: AU. "My name is Jenica Haley Hailyana Potter. I am eleven years old. I have a twin brother whose name is James Harold Potter. This is going to be my journal of memories." Jenica Potter has always been special, even more so than she could imagine. She knows things, things she shouldn't know, things that aren't going to happen for years. What will these visions drive her to do?
1. Jen's Diary

"What's this?" asked a red-headed woman in black, picking up a snow-covered ebony wooden box on the doorstep.

"I don't know," answered the man in black who was holding a little boy. The couple and child was dressed in black, and the white drifting snow was cascading around them. The woman picked up the box and carried it inside.

When they reached the light of the living room, they saw the parchment taped on the top. The woman opened the letter and read:

_Dear Lily, James, and Harry, _

_I'm sorry to write this, but as you know, my wishes go out to you for your loss. Jen told me to give this to you if she ever died. I guess, since she is gone, it was my duty to give you this. I'm sorry about Jen. My best wishes to Harry and his health. Please forgive me. _

_Emma Li_

The woman, Lily, looked up from the paper at her husband.

"James, Jen…" she muttered, confused almost. The man, James, put the boy, Harry, onto his high chair and put his arms around his wife.

"At least she was able to see Harry," he whispered in her ear. She looked with wide eyes up at her husband, then picked up Harry and left the room. James looked at the box. It was wooden, an oak. It was Jen's box. The one she had hidden so many things in. The one only she could get into. Everything was falling apart it seemed.

When his wife came back into the room, she put her hand over his.

"Do you want to open it?" she asked quietly. The man, blinking back tears, nodded and placed his hand on the small chest. It opened, like it had for Jen so many times in front of him.

Lily reached in and unfolded the paper on top. She held back a sob as she read the words on the page.

_Dear Lily and James, _

_I'm sorry that for what you guys are going through. Just know that I love you both eternally, and if you doubt that, you are insane. I want you two to read these, in order, please, for me. You have to understand why I did this. Please? Think of it as my last request. _

_James__, my love goes to you. I know this is hard, just believe and finish the books. I love you. _

_Lily,__ my love, my sweet, sweet friend. Please, make sure he does, and read them yourself too. _

_Harry__, my sweet little nephew, I love you just as much as I love your parents. Be brave little Harry. Never give up._

_I love you all. _

_Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter_

Lily looked at James, as if to ask if he wanted to. He nodded stiffly and the woman picked up the first leather bound book with the numeral one scratched on it in ink.

She cracked open the book, and stared at the first date.

"Go on then…" muttered her husband. She swallowed and began to read.

X

September 1, 1971

My name is Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter. I am eleven years old. I have a twin brother whose name is James Harold Potter.

This is going to be my journal of memories.

My life began on a day in March, preceded by a baby boy, James. My birthday is March 27, 1960. My parents were just expecting James, so I was a total surprise.

We are what you would call fraternal twins. And that's all I know, because I haven't gone to the trouble of looking it all up.

Today was the day that me and my brother first left home without our parents. I was shaking so badly and James was misbehaving...

"JAMES!" I cried, pulling on his arm. "Don't you dare leave the platform!" Our mother, Diane Potter, looked down at us.

"James, Jenica, don't be so rude. The others are staring," the elderly woman hissed.

She was old enough to be our grandmother, but we didn't care. She doted on us like there was no other day in the world. Our father was absent from this journey, as he was working overtime at the Ministry.

Mum leaned down to our level. "Make me proud little bairn," she whispered, using the word for children in Scottish. "James, don't be too rude. Jenica, don't tell everyone off all the time. You aren't always right. Remember I will love you no matter where you get sorted, but write tonight! I want to know where you were sorted to!" I smiled weakly and the two of us jumped up the large steps to the train.

I followed James into a compartment where I am sitting now, writing this. It's even better than what Dad described!

There are three other boys in here also, as well as another boy and a girl.

The silent pair in the corner are kind of cute together. The boy is black haired, lanky, and oily looking. The girl is beautiful. Her hair is red and just barely to her shoulders. Her green eyes are so exquisite that I think I might die of wonder at them. The boy just as black eyes. Such a bore.

The other group of boys is much different. One is rowdy, like James. He also has black silky locks that I would love to run my fingers through. He has stormy gray eyes. I think his name is Sirius Black.

There is also a mousy looking boy who looks run-down. He is really cute though. He has blue eyes. His name is Remus Lupin. Then there is the last boy, Peter Pettigrew. He is short, brown haired, and a bit pudgy. Not at all cute in anyway.

The three of them and my brother are talking loudly and the other two are quiet and look like they are arguing.

LATER: (I'm continuing from where I left off)

"It's okay. I just hope you'll be in Slytherin," said the boy next to the window. Everyone in the compartment turned to look at him like he was insane, except Sirius.

"Did you say Slytherin? I want Gryffindor, the home of the brave." James mimed holding up a sword. Cocky as usual. "If I got sorted into that dump I think I'd leave. What'd ya think Sirius?"

"My whole family has been in Slytherin," muttered Sirius. James dropped his hands.

"Oh. I thought you seemed nice when I met you," said James

The red-head stood up and said to the other boy with greasy hair, "Come on, let's find our own compartment." The three boys and my brother mocked them, but I watched them through the glass door. As soon as the two of them were out in the hall, they separated, the girl more reluctant than the boy.

I glanced around my own compartment and then told my brother, "I'm leaving." He didn't seemed fazed by this, so I left. When I found a sort of empty compartment full of girls. I knocked, then opened the door.

Inside were three girls. The red-head, a Chinese girl, and brown-haired girl with blue eyes.

"Can I sit here?" I asked quietly. The two other girls, not the red-head, yelled yes, so I sat down next to the brunette.

"I'm Jen Potter," I said quickly and nervously. I turned to the red-head. "Sorry about my brother and his friends. They don't seem to know anything." The girl nodded.

"I'm Lily," she said. "Lily Evans."

"Emma Li," the Chinese girl commented, leaning back into the seat.

"Lina Hawthorne," said the brunette, sitting cross-legged on the seat.

The four of us looked at each other.

"So…" I said, before bringing out this book and writing down the past few minutes.

Here are some facts about the others:

Emma: Chinese, moved to England and was born here, smart, two siblings, a grandmother who disapproves of witches

Lina: Half-Blood, knew Remus Lupin (when I asked if any of them knew them), her step-dad-amazing & wizard, dad-no pictures. 1/2 Irish, half English, Quidditch and cooking!

Lily: Friends with Severus Snape (that boy), a sister named Petunia, likes to run, and study, went to muggle school.

We all were sorted into Gryffindor, as were my brother and his friends. Snape went to Slytherin.

It's late, and we have school tomorrow.

I can't wait.

-Jenica Potter

X

Lily looked at her husband and she turned the page to the next entry.

_**A/N: I've decided to put this on Fanfiction because it did well on Wattpad. Also, on a side note, this is not completed, I still have most of the years (yes this will go through all 7 years of Hogwarts) to go (I'm currently at the end of third year). **_

_**I don't own Harry Potter, but I do OWN JENICA! MY AMAZING OC! PLEASE REVIEW! (I'll probably update within the next day or two)**_


	2. September 8, 1971

September 2, 1971

Hello again. Today was a long day.

We had a whole lot of classes. Potions, Charms, Transfiguration and so on…I like most of them, but they all seem pretty boring.

My dorm is pretty uneventful. It's just me, Lina, Emma, Lily, Alice Fortescue **(A/N: Alice Longbottom),** and Olivia Patil. Olivia's brother seems to be adopted, because she has much paler skin than he does, and she confirmed it yesterday when we were chatting after dinner.

What really is important is last night.

Later last night we went down to the common room to find my brother and his group of friends there. We got them to play a game of truth or dare. It was pretty amazing.

Anyway, I hope my brother isn't getting into too much mischief. That would be bad.

See ya tomorrow!

Jenica Potter

X

"Let me read," said James quietly. Lily smiled.

"It's the eight of September," she said, before handing over the book. He grinned slightly before reading.

X

September 8, 1971

Sorry, I haven't written more often. But me and the Vagabonds (that's what we decided to call ourselves) have been so busy pranking the Marauders (my brother's group). Today we pulled the best prank on them! It was amazing. Here:

"You sure this is going to work?" asked Lina. "I mean if it doesn't work-"

"We won't get blamed, Jen's stupid brother will, no offense," Emma confirmed easily, buttering her roll.

"There is no need," I muttered, glancing down the table at "the tossers" as we like to call them.

"You know, it's kind of sad, we've only known them for eight days," said Lily quietly.

I snorted into my pumpkin juice, "I've known James my whole darn life!"

"You're his sister!" retorted Lina. "I grew up next to Remus!" They both had lived in the same town down the street from each other, Remus's father and her mother had both married Muggles. Their parents had thought it would be a grand idea if they played together, it mostly just turned into conversations on the last book they had read.

Lily sat back as she normally did whenever we had this conversation as she had never known any of "the tossers" before Hogwarts' Train Ride. Neither had Emma since both of them were Muggleborns.

"You know," cut in Emma, "we should think of a name, because I overheard a person, Remus, in the common room last night say that they should call themselves 'The Marauders'. I think it's a rather horrid name, but still, we can't be outdone by a bunch of boys!"

"I second the motion!" I called out, drawing the attention of the boy sitting next to me. "What?" I demanded as the boy shook his head and turned back to his friends.

"Third it," said Lina, biting into her muffin.

"Forth it," Lily agreed.

"That's settled, what should we call ourselves so we can sign it," asked Emma.

"The Rogues," I offered.

"Too weird," Lina dismissed, "how 'bout the Dogs!"

"No way, too smelly," Lily said. "How 'bout The Vagabonds?"

"Sounds good, be right back," Emma said as she dove into her school bag and pulled out a quill, ink, and parchment and began writing.

"What are you writing Em?" I asked.

"A letter to Dumbledore saying who did it."

"Isn't that kind of the point of a prank, not to know who did it?" asked Lily. Emma just shook her off, scribbling only faster.

Emma finished with the letter while we sat around waiting awkwardly.

"What time is it?"

"7:29," answered Lily

"Now."

Suddenly water came down out of the ceiling and soaked everyone, even the teachers. Emma sent her owl over to where Professor Dumbledore was sitting at the head table. We watched anxiously while his eyes danced across the page. We saw his mouth tug upwards in a smile before he got up and yelled, "QUIET!"

Silence filled the hall instantly.

"If I could ask all students who know the drying charm to please help the ones who do not."

When everyone was dried off they returned their attention to Dumbledore.

"You all may be wondering who did this." He waved his arm at the wet Great Hall. "Was it the boys who did it last time? The Marauders as they call themselves?" Everyone turned to face the tossers, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, who had all managed to prank the whole school in little less than a week. "It was not, as I have a confession written to me and sent to me as this was going on. And I quote, 'Professor Dumbledore, We send you our most sincere apologies to you and the staff and student body. Our targets were the infamous marauding boys, The Marauders (see what I did there). We did not mean to empty the entire black lake on the Great Hall, we merely did not want to go to the trouble of seeking out those boys and causing them more pain than water dumped on them. Think of it as a service to the school that we did not go through with some of our more...shall we say...adventurous plans. Yours Laughingly, The Vagabonds.'"

The whole Great Hall burst out laughing except four boys who were glowering at us.

"I personally would like to thank these...Vagabonds for lightening our difficult Wednesday. I am sure the rest of the staff is with me." I scanned the staff table. One or two teachers, like Professor Green (DADA) or Professor Walnut (Herbology) were laughing, while others like Professor McGonagall were glowering at us and looking like the prank had just made Wednesday the day of horridness. "Tut tut, it looks as though the time for class is coming, I would like whoever wants to take responsibility to come to my office along with the fine gentlemen known as the Marauders, this evening after dinner. You will not be punished, I just merely wish to know who you are."

So we went there after dinner and this is what happened.

We were standing outside Dumbledore's office watching the door carefully.

"What do yeh recon the password is?" asked Emma.

"Lollypops," guess Lina.

"Bertie Bots Every Flavored Beans," I guessed.

"Lemon Drop," guessed Lily.

"Yea Lily!" the rest of us yelled as the four of us climbed the stairs to get inside the Headmaster's office.

"It's what Emma's owl is named," Lily shrugged, "and Em told him what the owl's name was."

We walked silently up the steps and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" called the voice of a Professor Dumbledore.

Emma pushed open the door to expose Dumbledore and four boys, the Marauders.

"Ah...I thought it was you four," Dumbledore mused.

We nodded.

"Is that all you wanted Professor?" Lily asked.

"Why yes, Ms. Evans. You all may go now, good bye," Dumbledore said as the eight of them left the office.

It was strange. Then, in the common room after we got back we made up a contract. Here is a rough copy of what was in it:

_We, the Vagabonds and the Marauders accept that we are in an agreement of war. The eight of us will never lift this war unless two of our members cross and marry. That is the only exception to our agreement. _

_We may not endanger anyone else. We may not kill anyone. We may not set fire to Hagrid's hut. _

_We here by agree to the terms above and agree that we may add things to the above. _

_Signed_

_Lily Evans James Potter Jenica Potter Remus Lupin _

_Emma Li Peter Pettigrew Sirius Black Lina Hawthorne_

Goodnight. I'm tired. See ya tomorrow!

-Jenica Potter

X

"Do you remember that?" asked James, smiling slightly. "We used to hate each other so much. It was hilarious."

"Not at the time though," laughed Lily, smiling. She gently took the book from her laughing husband, turned the page and smiled. "September 24, 1971…this sounds good…"

_**A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! And no, I still don't own Harry Potter. Just on a side note, where did the term Potterhead come from...I was just thinking about that. Anywho. See ya tomorrow!**_


	3. The Babblings of a Potter

September 24, 1971

Today in Transfiguration, everyone was being crazy. McGonagall is probably going to go insane by the time we reach seventh year. I know this for a fact. Old Minnie was already a bit upset, but now it's like she was going to rip out her bun and jump out the window.

Us and the Marauders were throwing jars of ink at each other. Quite the fun actually, but not the detention. Lils got off easy because she wasn't doing it, but me, Em, and Lina all have to serve detention next week. Copying detentions of past people. Great. I bet I'll find some familiar names.

Jenica Potter

X

James was laughing. "I remember that! I hit you in the head!" Lily smiled.

"I was so angry, you ruined my favorite blouse that day."

"What's next?" asked James, trying to take back the book. "October 23, 1971…."

X

October 23, 1971

James is eternally an idiot. Today, he played a prank on me and the Vagabonds. {Lily points out that it should be the Vagabonds and me} The Marauders thought it was a brilliant idea to dump stink bombs down the Enchanted Staircase on us.

The only good thing about this is that they got detention from McGonagall who just so happened to be walking with us. She was so furious it was hilarious. Nothing could've gotten in her way of punishing them. Even Peeves.

Jenica Potter

X

"I was such a geek," smiled Lily.

"Go on!"

"Okay, sweetheart."

X

November 1, 1971

Yesterday was Halloween, so we obviously had a Halloween feast. It was brilliant. Everything Mum had described. I really think Hogwarts is going to be the most amazing home ever. Beside's Mum's fireplace. But anyway.

Apparently the feast wasn't enough for James and his mates. So they of course had to show up in full costume. I was so embarrassed. First year at Hogwarts and already they were being complete idiots. What will I do over the summer with the tossers over all the time!

Hoping that the world will be a better place when I wake up.

Jen

X

November 13, 1971

Today, I was thoroughly fed up with James. He dumped porridge all over my newest skirt. I wrote to Mum just a few minutes ago, but I don't think it will work. She'll probably just tell me to beat him up or something.

NOTE TO SELF: Search Library for spells on defense/offense.

Jenica Potter

X

James laughed so loudly Lily had to hit him on the shoulder to remind him that Harry was in the house.

"James!" she laughed, and began to read the next entry.

X

November 25, 1971

Today is Thanksgiving. At least in other countries. Lily told me it was a Muggle holiday for the New World. I think it is just a scam. Who would create a holiday surrounding turkeys? NO ONE EXCEPT STUPID AMERICA THAT'S WHO!

Anyway, the real reason why I am so angry is because Sirius decided that he was going to trip me in the Great Hall during lunch, then spill my tea all over my skirt, ruining yet another. I was about to rip off his head when Lily said, "Jen, there's no point. Just let it go. Come over here, I can fix it." She then fixed the skirt and I attempted to kill Sirius Black.

I didn't succeed.

Sadly.

Jen

X

November 30, 1971

The last day of November of the year 1971. No one will ever see this day again. It'll be over in a few minutes. Wait for it…

It is now December.

I probably shouldn't be up this late, but I had to study for a stupid quiz in Potions. Lily's a master at that, but I'm rubbish. She keeps hanging out with that Severus guy, but I've seen who he hangs out with. All of the Death Eater Children. He's such a pushover. I wish he would just off a cliff so that Lily wouldn't have to see him anymore. Of course then I'd have a weeping Lily on my hands, but I can deal with that.

See ya soon!

Jen

X

"Really Jen? Snape wasn't all that bad," said Lily. "Back then…"

James picked up the book and turned to the next entry.

X

December 14, 1971

Today was Lina's birthday. We threw a huge party for her and succeeded in ruining the Marauders party throwing skills. They had organized two parties, but ours made theirs look like rubbish.

Happy birthday Lina!

Jen

X

August 29, 1972

This is the part where you tell me how horrible a person I am, journal. I really am sorry. I hid you at the bottom of my trunk because Sirius was trying to read it, which I'm not going to ever let him do. Then I forgot where I hid you, and then we went on holiday to Paris and I forgot…

And we come back to today. Three days before I go back to Hogwarts for second year.

I was cleaning out my trunk today because mum made me. She told me that if I left it all in there, year after year, it would become a pigsty. This was buried at the bottom under socks, quills, and parchment.

This year I am going to organize this carefully, thank you very much.

x.x.x

I just got done repacking. I will update you.

Last Christmas was amazing. We all went home and promised to write to each other the minute we got home. It was great. I got everything that I had wanted. The book on spells was my favorite. I'll need to practice, but I've read through the book at least three times and so has Lily, Lina, and Emma. We are going to beat the Marauders this year!

Emma has planned all the pranks that we've done so far. From dumping water on people to throwing ink bottles at them.

Anyway, I spent all of summer break having Emma, Lina, and Lily over for a few hours once in a while and the Marauders constantly around. We mostly played Quidditch whenever we could. I've gotten really good. If I might say so myself, I'm better than James and Sirius, though they'd never agree. But it's so true.

I'm going to try out for the team. I'm predicting the team:

Seeker: Alice Melby (current member)

Chaser: Lina

Chaser: James

Chaser: Emma

Beater: Me

Beater: Sirius

Keeper: Thomas Yew (current member and Captain, last year)

Five people graduated last year, they need a whole bunch of new blood. We're the best that Dad's seen in awhile (that's what he said).

I can't wait.

There's mum calling. We're leaving for Diagon Alley via floo in just a few minutes. We're going to meet the others there for one last day before going to Kings station on Friday.

Hope to write soon!

Jenica Potter

X

"James! She got it right on the head!" cried Lily, laughing.

"Jen always was kind of good at predicting things," laughed James, grinning. Lily took the book and turned to the next entry.

_**A/N: I'M SO SORRY! MY COMPUTER GOT ATTACKED BY A VIRUS AND I JUST GOT IT BACK! I also don't own Harry Potter. And I would like to say that Yes, I did mean to write "he hangs out with all the Death Eater Children..." you'll see later on, what's that all about. And no she didn't notice and nor did Lily and James because they were laughing too hard. PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHEERY ON TOP REVIEW? I'll update as soon as I get a review (or notice it) because I have literally no life other than this. **_


	4. They Are Coming

September 4, 1972

I've written in under a week! Congratulate me! It's a great thing! Anyway.

Today in Potions we were working on some stupid potion (I didn't finish, I'll have to ask Lily what it was later), when all of the sudden Black decided to "accidentally" make my wand roll into the potion. I told old Sluggie on him, but all he got was detention. And only one at that! And I'm stuck with a deformed wand!

Remind me to kill Sirius Black.

Jen

X

"I remember that!" cried James before continuing.

X

September 5, 1972

I got up this morning to Lily yelling in my ear about some stupid thing.

"TRY OUTS!" yelled Emma, jumping onto my bed. "TRY OUTS ARE TODAY!"

I groaned and got up. "You didn't have to jump on the bloody bed did you?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "Get off!" I cried, pushing the annoying Asian off my bed. Lina giggled.

"Jenica's a potty mouth!" she laughed and skipped out of the room. I crossed my arms and huffed.

"I'm not moving!" I cried.

"Oh yes you are!" yelled Lily, pulling on my arms.

"NO! I'M NOT!" I yelled, rolling away from her and onto the floor. Emma rolled her eyes and said, "Is this about Sirius?"

"No," I said a bit too quickly.

Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed her books of her bed. "Be at the breakfast table in ten minutes or you're going to be the next target." She then promptly marched out of the room acting like some kind of minister.

"Ooo! Look at me!" I cried, standing up and striking my best "sexy" pose. "I'm the queen of the world!" I then walked around in a circle demonstrating my best Lily impersonation. Emma burst out laughing. She tugged her bag onto her shoulder, still smiling.

"Just be there, okay?" she grinned. "I don't really want to see Lily's ideas."

"Fine," I grumbled.

I'm writing this in the ten minutes that Lily gave me. Got to go await my fate. See ya, hopefully. Later.

LATER:

That went well. Lily told me off for waking up late. It wasn't my fault the nightmares came again last night. They always come at night. Always. Then they haunt me the rest of the day until another comes.

They're horrible, the dreams. I always see dark things. Things that are unclear.

This is the one from last night, the one that freaked me out.

_I was sitting in a kitchen. It was yellow. And Lily was in the room, cooking. _

_"Sweets," she called. "I've got dinner. Can you get Harry for me?"_

_"Sure!" yelled a voice from somewhere in the house. I watched as an older James came in carrying a young boy. _

_"Harry!" squealed Lily, dropping her spoon. "Mummy's got you out of Daddy's hands!" _

And that's only one of them. One of the better ones. Sometimes they aren't so good. Most of the time they're horrible. Honestly.

One time I saw Dumbledore, but he was older, and he was falling off the astronomy tower.

And one time I saw McGonagall dancing with a red-headed boy she called Ronald Weasley.

And then there is that boy, Harry. He always seems to be in my dreams.

Argh, Sirius is coming my way. I've got to hide.

Jen

X

James looked at Lily. Lily looked at James.

"Harry," they whispered.

"That explains…" trailed off Lily. "How she knew everything…"

"Jen…why didn't you tell me!" cried James. "She could've saved me a whole lot of trouble with you! I wouldn't have had to chase you for six years!" Lily giggled.

"Shut it James. My turn," she said, and took the book.

X

September8, 1972

I got Beater. With Black. Emma, Lina, and James got Chaser. Why am I not surprised?

The dreams have continued. They got worse too. Yesterday I saw them die again. I also saw more of Harry.

Apparently he is friends with a Muggleborn by the name of Hermione Granger and a Ronald Weasley. From what I've seen Harry is a perfectly happy boy, except he doesn't have parents. I don't get it. Lily and James would never give him up. Not if they are the same people I know. Unless they died, unless the dream where they die is true. But if they didn't die, he wouldn't be alone. They wouldn't do that.

This is troubling me.

Jen

LATER:

I just had a dream. It's about 1 in the morning, but this can't wait.

I saw Lily and James get killed by Voldemort.

How could this happen?

Jen

X

September 11, 1972

It's becoming a common reoccurrence. I've almost gotten over it.

James and Lily will die by Voldemort's hand. He will kill them.

And then there is their son Harry. From what I've seen in the past few nights, he's an okay guy. He looks exactly like James. And he has a sister who looks exactly like me, sometimes. And his crush looks exactly like Lily.

I can't shake the feeling of dejavu.

This can't be happening.

But sometimes, she, the girl who looks like me, isn't there. It's like there are two memories, one of just Harry and one where the girl exists. It doesn't make sense. The ones with just Harry come more often, and are stronger it seems.

Jen

X

September 12, 1972

I've got to get this out of my head.

Gryffindor is going to beat Slytherin in the match on Saturday.

And Harry, Lily and James's little boy is going to die.

But that's always where it goes fuzzy. Where things go double. There are two pathways, one where Harry survives and one where he dies. The world is at an axis.

Lily is always the last one to die. She must be the axis. She must be the one who decides the fate of the wizarding world.

Why did this happen to them?

Jen

X

September 15, 1972

It happened again.

I have to remember to put a silencing charm around my bed so I don't wake up the others.

I woke Lily up by screaming her name. She told me I was screaming, "NOT LILY! NO! KILL ME INSTEAD!"

Not exactly someone can walk away from without giving answers, and believe me, she wanted them.

The dream was them dying again, but this time there was another one, a girl. From what I've seen from my baby pictures, that girl looked exactly like me.

As much as I want these dreams to stop, I don't. I like seeing my nephew and niece. Or whoever they are

And Lily and James together.

Jen

X

"We don't have a daughter," muttered Lily. "I'm not…I haven't...I wasn't…"

"I believe you Lily. And anyway, you can't have cheated and come up with a little girl because Jen said she looked like her, meaning she looked like me and Harry," James said, turning the page and looking at the next date.

"September 20, 1972," muttered Lily.

_**A/N: Purple Bullet, you didn't have to wait long. I still don't own Harry Potter, but I DO OWN JENICA HAYLEY HAILYANA POTTER (and I may or may not have spelled her name right...)**_


	5. Dreaming All Night Long

September 17, 1972

Gryffindor beat Slytherin in the match yesterday.

Great.

Jen

X

September 20, 1972

I had another dream tonight. It explains the little girl.

Lily had been carrying twins, She though the second one died, but in reality, it didn't.

The girl was taken by the hospital.

The healer who took care of Lily took the girl away. The healer was actually a person who was imperiused. They were going to take the girl to Voldemort. But they were stopped, by me.

I took the girl and raised her until she was six.

Then I woke up.

It was strange. I kept calling her Susan.

Susan is the name I wasn't to name my daughter.

But what I don't get is why I didn't return the girl to Lily and James. She was their daughter.

I hope I'm not going insane.

Jen

**_Dear Lily and James,_**

**_I see you have gotten this far, Thank you for reading my diary carefully. _**

**_But you see, she isn't your daughter. Sorry for the heart attack._**

**_Love,_**

**_Jenica H. H. Poter _**

X

September 25, 1972

I guess this is becoming a reoccurrence.

I dream about an event that happens and then it happens.

I mean, I knew that Lily would be talking about brooms today, and that isn't a normal thing. I even knew where people were going to be standing.

I need to get this out of my head.

Please help me.

Jen

X

September 24, 1972

I had another dream last night.

This time it was a Quidditch match. James was playing, but he wasn't. It was Harry. I saw Remus in the stands though, so it must have been in the future a great long time, because Remus looked quiet horrid. Even more so than after the full moon.

They don't think we know, me and the girls. We do though.

I figured it out the minute I saw him. That was when the visions started, that year. They weren't as frequent as they have been this year. I just hope they won't be bad. Next year.

Jen

X

"This is creepy," muttered Lily.

"I know…"

"We had a daughter," muttered Lily. "And we didn't know!"

"Jen said we don't," corrected James, rolling his eyes at his wife.

X

September 30, 1972

Hello. Today I had another dream.

This time I saw the boy's fifth year.

Sirius died.

Why is everyone dying?

Jen

X

November 25, 1973

The dreams haven't come in a long time. I would say a fortnight, but I have no idea how long that is. Though last night I dreamed of the train station. Everyone seemed happyish. They didn't seem like they were going to suddenly be attacked by the so called Death Eaters that people seem to just starting to be afraid of now.

These people reminded me of the children I have seen in past dreams. The Hermione Granger was standing next to the Ronald, looking like a couple. Harry was grinning at the Lily-look-a-like. They looked older. It was scary.

I'm just glad the dreams died down a bit over October and November. Lily told me that she hasn't heard me scream in months. When I asked her why, she responded by telling me that each night she took down the silencing charm from around my bed and extended it to hers.

When I asked why, she wouldn't tell me, only saying, "When a friend is in danger, do you desert them and let them suffer alone? No, you hug them and cry and long with them, until the very end."

I find that true. How many times, in even the last year have I helped Lily, Emma, or Lina through a problem? Lots of times, too many to count.

Anyway, I must be getting to dinner. I fear that Lina and Lily will rip me apart if I delay us any longer -

LATER:

Please note that Lily was the one who ripped me away, not Lina. So don't blame the perfectly innocent Lina.

Love,

Jenica Potter

X

"I never knew you were so hungry that you would rip your best friend apart!" laughed James, throwing a arm around his wife and smiling.

"I didn't actually rip her apart!" flushed the red head, taking the journal and turning to the next page. "Hey, look, it's Boxing Day."

"This should be fun, I seem to remember that day being particularly exciting."

X

December 26, 1972

Yesterday was almost complete, pardon my language, hell.

James and I went home over the holiday, I didn't bring anyone, just promised to write on Christmas and all that jazz. James invited his friend, Sirius Black over.

I nearly moved out and went to Lily's house, but since her sister isn't exactly on the "let's love wizards/witches" list, I don't think that would be such a good idea. Her parents would probably wonder too…

Anyway, yesterday Mum thought it would be a wonderful idea to throw me, James, and Sirius {James, Sirius, and I—That is the work of a certain Lily Evans Potter…the girl who read my diary today} out in the snow while she cooked the dinner.

She had told us it would be a great idea to play Quidditch while we still could, but what started out as a harmless game of ball, turned into a ruthless massacre of pranking.

Let's just say, that by the time we went back in James and Black were very sore and worn out, while I was only slightly ruffled.

I think I won.

Jen

X

January 1, 1973

This is the first time I have written in the month of January in this book. Congratulate me. I've gotten this far.

Last night, rather a few hours ago, Sirius decided that it would be a grand idea to try and spike the punch with firewiskey that James had found in the kitchen (Mum and Dad went out to dinner with a group of friends from the Ministry). I thankfully stopped him before he got to my glass, but the harm was done. A few minutes later he poured some of his drink into mine, the disgusting git, and I unknowingly took a sip of it.

Which at that point I collapsed and started to have the nightmares.

They stared out just fine, but then went faster and faster, like time was speeding up. From what I could tell it was Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts. It sped through a pink lady's classroom and various other atrocities to the end of the year. Harry entered the Department of mysteries with his group of friends, and they almost got away unscathed with the Order of the Phoenix (That sounds amazing, I wonder what it is…Anyway) …Sirius was in it. And he came, though I think someone told him not to.

He said, "I can't leave my godson alone."

And he died. The brave man died.

But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that Sirius poured cold ice on my head to wake me up, effectively soaking me and pulling me out of the nightmare a little too late.

When I hit him in the face for dumping cold water on me he said, "You were yelling my name."

I wasn't. I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

But it would explain why I was so sad when he died.

Yours Sadly,

Jenica Potter

X

"I always wondered why she was screaming his name," muttered James, as Lily turned the page. "I corned him afterwards telling him that if he ever harmed or went out with my sister without my permission I would kill him. Well, siriusly main and injure." He grinned, stroking his wife's hair.

"You can't be Sirius!" she giggled looking up at his hazel eyes.

"I'm not, Lily. You heard my name at the altar, you should know," he grinned down at her, gently kissing her on the lips before snatching the book away and reading the next entry title. "January 30, 1973! Hey, wasn't that the day I first asked you out?"

"James! We aren't done yet!" Lily scolded, smiling, trying to pull him back to her. "And I wouldn't know, you're the one with the psychopathic ability to remember all those trivial details!"

"They are not trivial! They are memories! I ask you how many minutes it took after meeting you to make you aggravated and you wouldn't know! That is our first moment in history together!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know, thirty?" she guess, trying to grab the book back and failing.

"No, it was 6. Well actually 5 minutes 45 seconds and 1,000 nanoseconds," he listed, returning his gaze to the journal.

"How do you remember that?" gasped Lily.

"You told me already, I'm a psychopath," he grinned.

**_A/N: Oh yea...I don't own Harry Potter in anyway shape or form. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW?_**


	6. The Future

January 30, 1973

Hello again, my long forgotten journal. I wonder how you have been for the last 29 days? Oh yes, shoved up inside the ceiling of the boys' dorm. (Please don't ask how you got there, it's an extremely long story that I really don't want to tell)

Well, long story short, Sirius stole this out of my book bag, hid it on top of his bed and I spelled them all asleep and searched for it whilst leaving nasty surprises for them. (Such as freezing them to the beds, or replacing their water supply with mud…the classics) Being the good person I am, I charmed it so that it would avoid Frank Longbottom, the misfortunate boy who got roomed with them.

Anyway, today was Lily's birthday. I'll write more later, Emma's helping me set up for the party tonight, we're using out lunch hour and break. This is going to be great. J

-Jenica Potter

LATER:

I shall now tell you about Lily's amazing birthday party…two birthday parties.

See the Marauders and I decided to throw a party for Lily. Separately. Emma knew about this, and told them they could have half of the common room. So they did. Lily for the most part avoided them at all costs, and their side of the room.

So…our party was better because we actually had the birthday girl. The sad thing is that the whole house was divvied on the issue. And it was exactly half. I even asked Lily what 78 divided by two was.

39.

Each side had 39 people on it. It was horrid.

Anyway.

Good night. I shall try and write tomorrow.

Yours,

Jenica

"She sounds so happy, the nightmares must have stopped," whispered Lily turning to the next entry. "Or not…she muttered when she saw the torture handwriting that covered the paper along with various pictures of a girl cradling her head.

"Go on," urged James.

LATER:

I'm sorry, but this couldn't wait until tomorrow.

I really don't want to admit this to anyone, not even a thing that won't abuse my privacy or do any kind of that sort, but I've been taking sleeping potion for the past month.

I couldn't stand it after I saw Lily and James and…Sirius die so many times. I couldn't stand watching them die while I did nothing. I couldn't do anything to help them. I was stuck in a syrupy liquid almost, moving too slow to help them.

So I made some sleeping potion in my room over Christmas break. I took it every night and it seemed to work. It seemed to dull the dreams to only a memory.

But as I found out tonight, it was only the calm before the storm. I can't do anything to stop it.

I can't do anything to stop the dreams.

Tonight they came again. This time more clearly and more like memories than ever. It was like I was there, but the last one I was in, it wasn't like this.

I was standing outside a small yellow cottage and…this is going to sound crazy, but I saw Lily and James inside on a couch, reading a book together. More correctly Lily was reading this entry—today's entry—aloud to James.

And I was standing outside the window, watching them in the falling snow like I had planned this all. Like there was nothing wrong with my life.

Then all of the sudden, Lily and James got up and came to the window, pressing their faces against the pane, like they knew I was there.

Unless they were reading my diary.

I've got to go. Lily will probably be wondering why I have bags under my eyes in the morning.

-Jen

X

The red-headed woman stared up at her husband before running over to the window.

"Lily!" he called. "Lily, she's there, that's what her memory says, it doesn't mean that she is. She was just good at predicting things. Come on, let's keep reading, maybe it will explain things."

"You're right," sighed Lily, turning away from the window. Just as she was turning away, she swore—swears that she saw a woman who looked exactly like Jen peak around the window frame and watch as they sat back down on the couch.

"Look," said James, picking up the abandoned book that was lying on the floor and flipping it over. "A note from Jen."

Lily grabbed the book and quickly read aloud the note.

**_._**

**_Dear Lily and James,_**

**_I wrote this on the typewriter awhile ago, and I thought I just might add this. Right after you read the above entry, James said:_**

**_"Lily, Lily, she's there, that's what her memory says, it doesn't mean that she is. She was just good at predicting things. Come on, let's keep reading, maybe it will explain things."_**

**_Please don't be angry, but it's true. I can predict things. Just live with that, please, sweets._**

**_Now read on, my dears, and find out about your fate._**

**_-Love_**

**_Jenica H. H. Potter_**

**_._**

"What?" Lily cried, almost pulling her hair out.

"Calm down, let's read the next entry."

X

June 8, 1973

Yet again, I must apologize for a thing that is not my fault. I buried this at the bottom of my trunk after I had that weird dream of Lily and James. I figure it's just my imagination acting up, but I don't know.

Anyway. The reason why I am writing again is because I had another dream last night. It wasn't horrid, just normal.

Normal in every way possible, except it was of Hogwarts. With James and Lily.

From what I could tell, it was our seventh year and everything was great. (I must remember to write everything down from that year.) By the end of the dream, Lily and James were together and I was happily seeing Sirius.

Wait, did I just write that? Sorry. I must be blowing apart your brains at this moment.

But it's true. I did dream that Sirius and I were…well dating. Well actually, I had this dream a few weeks ago that Hogwarts had turned into a water park and it was like a movie. I saw both sides.

Sirius talked with Remus about liking me, and I overhead. Which, then, being the sensible dream-person I am, somehow got mixed up in a murder mystery and this love triangle.

I honestly only remember some old witch's house that was in the upper levels of Hogwarts.

You probably don't care. You're just wondering if I passed to Third Year, well I did. With flying colors, almost as good as Lily's. But if I tried harder I could probably get better scores, but I just see no point.

Love,

Jen.

X

June 9, 1973

I got out of my final exam today. All of them were pains, but the Herbology especially. I mean, it's an easy class all in all, but it's not if you don't pay attention half the time.

So I reread the textbook last night. Lily would kill me if I didn't get a passing grade in Herbology. I think I would never live it up to my brother either.

The real reason why I reread the textbook wasn't because I wasn't ready. I had already read it that afternoon after the Defense Against the Dark Arts' exam.

I reread it to keep myself from dreaming. I had a feeling that I would end up dying or something in last night's dream so I stayed awake all night.

Lily seemed worried when I consumed a lot of chocolate and coffee this morning. So did Emma and Lina. Not to mention everyone in the house…maybe the entire school.

But I can't jolly well go up to Lily and say, "Hey, you know how I drank four tons of coffee and like five tons of chocolate this morning? Well it's because I've been having dreams about you and James. You have a kid and then you die."

How can you tell someone that? You can't, that's what. They would flip out and kill you most likely. Or they would throw you in an asylum.

This sucks. Now I know, since it's almost midnight that I will be crashing soon. The reason why I haven't yet is because I have been drinking a cup of coffee every hour. I'm practically living in the kitchens. I told Lina that I was going to go see someone in the Astronomy Tower. Which immediately made Lily nervous. She wanted to come with, but I told her to not. Then I proceeded to tell Lina all about this boy that I was "going" to see.

I think I described some boy on the Ravenclaw's Quidditch Team, Thomas Bell, I think. I'll have to find him later and fill him in on our date that went wonderfully.

I'll probably get him to either go out with me or "dump" me after breakfast someday. I'll have to find that out, what he wants to do.

Anyway. Or I could just say it never happened and that I was just going to visit Hagrid or something.

But then Lina will wonder why I told her I was meeting a boy. Ah well. They all can wonder at some point in their lives what I am thinking at this exactly moment, but they will never know.

Wait, the house—

They kicked me out. Telling me, "Mistress Potter must go to bed!" Pah, what do they know. I don't want to go to bed.

I don't want to sleep. Help me not sleep please. I know, maybe I'll take more sleeping potion…I wonder how long it will take to make it.

Let's hope Hogwarts has enough coffee to get me through a day.

-Jen

LATER:

I'm making more sleeping potion in this handy brewing closet I found on the seventh floor. It's pretty amazing.

Anyway, it's brewing right now, so I've got a little time to write.

I'm amazed at how long I went without the dreams. Almost six months. Sure they were there, but it was only once a month, maybe that they showed up in my mind. Even then it was only repeats, nothing new.

That's why I was so surprised to dream about me, Sirius, Lily, and James.

Jen

_**A/N: YAY! Another update! I still don't own Harry Potter if you care. And it would be LOVELY if your reviewed. :D**_


	7. The Potion & The Roots

June 12, 1973

I feel great.

The sleeping potion really worked wonders last night, so now it's just lazing around on the lawn until we get our results back from the exams.

Today was a great day. I hadn't dreamed anything out of the ordinary last night, so I was in an especially good mood when Lina, Emma and I snuck down to Hogsmead. I know, we're only in second year, but we've seen Hogsmead. I know! It's so exciting! Lily, being the person that she is, ditched us to laze around by the lake by some of her Slytherin friends. (Namely Sinvillus, the git). She probably complained all day long to him, because when we got back, she was smiling, having cleaned the entire room fully.

She even folded my socks. (Which have never been folded once Mum knitted them)

The only drawback is that Lily is onto me again. She asked me if the nightmares were back (I had told her last year that it was just a nightmare that I had sometimes about us all dying at the hands of Voldemort).

I told her no.

"But I found a sleeping potion under your bed," she pointed out, bending over and reaching under the bed to pull out a large box full of the potion. "It isn't good for you to take this!"

"There's nothing wrong with me," I insisted, crossing my arms.

Lily frowned. "Well, if by next term, you haven't gotten off this stuff, I'm going to send you to Dumbledore," Lily warned. She pushed the box back under the bed and went away to dinner.

I skipped.

I didn't want to see Lily staring at me while I picked at my food. So I brought this down to the kitchens and ate there. And I spilled my guts to a house elf after casting a silencing charm on her.

She was lovely, didn't interrupt me once until I took the spell off her and she consoled me and gave me ice cream.

I think her name is Minky. I think she'll help push away the nightmares. She'll give me something to hold on to when the nightmares get the worst.

Eating ice cream and hoping the nightmares don't come tonight,

Jen

X

Lily looked solemnly up at her husband, the book dropping from her fingers.

"She hid it for so long…" Lily muttered, her fingers running though her red hair. "Did you know?"

"No. I had no idea about any of this," James murmured, stroking Lily's back.

"She told me about Minky, in third year when she showed up to bring her something," Lily said, picking the book up. "And she told me she was off of that sleeping potion."

"I'll read," James whispered, taking the book and turning the page.

X

June 21, 1973

Tomorrow we're going home.

It's been a busy week. All week we were pranking the Marauders, everyday. I think the school is now very afraid of us because everyone knows we exist, but we never get caught. We haven't gotten caught in over six months.

But the Marauders have. It's hilarious to watch them get lugged off to detention for something we did. Even though multiple people saw us doing it.

Actually they can't have, because we use disguises anytime we go out to prank someone.

I just finished packing, and the others have gone down to Lunch ages ago. (We always pack the morning before we leave, so we can run around that night before dinner, and so we don't miss the feast!)

So I managed to sneak my box of potions into my trunk without Lily noticing, because I had told her that I had thrown it away last week.

I haven't. I can't get though the night without it. I will try over the summer to get off of it, but I don't know if I will be able to.

I really want to, so I can be truthful to Lily, but…I can't. I can't see her die. And I can't tell her either. I can't tell anyone except this.

That is a depressing thought.

Love,

Jen

X

July 3, 1973

Last night I didn't take the sleeping potion. I have been taking it every night, but last night was no different without the potion.

I had a nightmare last night. It was just about the freakiest thing I've ever seen.

It was Harry's first year from what I could tell and he went through this maze thing, where at the end he crumbled his professor into a mound of dust.

And there was a fire. A roaring fire. So tall and…bright.

I woke up screaming.

James pretty much tore into my room, wanting to know what was wrong. Wanting to know what was the matter.

I didn't tell him. How can you tell your twin brother that he's going to die? There is no way. No possible way to explain that.

And the dreams.

I've made up my mind. I will continue taking the sleeping potion, or maybe find a spell to take away the nightmares. There's got to be one somewhere. I know there is.

There has to be.

Sleepingly yours,

Jen.

X

July 9, 1973

I forgot to take the potion last night so I was screaming again. I don't know how I could have forgotten. It doesn't make sense.

Unless Lily got Remus to get James to steal my sleeping potion and replaced it with water.

Well anyway, James raced into my room again, worried about me.

I tried to tell him that it was just like any other night mare. But he said, "You screamed Sirius's name at Christmas while writhing on the floor, you screamed bloody murder five nights ago, and now you're doing it again. You've got to see someone."

I can't see anyone though. They'd lock me up in St. Mungo's and just leave me to rot in a padded room.

I really need to find that spell, and make more potion. I went through my box just now and drank some, just to take a nap, but it didn't put me out like it should.

I think I'll slip some into Sirius's drink when he comes next week, to see if it's still good.

Hoping the nightmares will not be back tonight,

Jen.

X

July 14, 1973

I slipped some of the old potion into Sirius's drink at lunch and he didn't fall asleep. So that means someone emptied my bottles.

Every night since I suspected someone switched the bottles, I've been having nightly nightmares. Every stinking night I've had one. And it's all the same, me drifting up to a yellow cottage and knocking on the door.

After that I wake up. I don't dream anything more.

I had mum put a silencing charm on my room so James wouldn't come running every time he hears a sound. I'll have to get her to take it off again tonight.

I want to accuse him tonight.

Jen

X

July 15, 1973

He admitted to it after I told him that there was no chance of him getting out of it.

Then he said, "So what, you can't tell on me. Mum would freak if she found out you were using sleeping potions regularly!"

I think I looked like a fish after that.

I mean what are you suppose to say in that situation? "I'm sorry but I have to otherwise I will scream my head off every night?" No. You can't exactly say that.

I would end up in an asylum. Most definitely.

I probably should anyways. So we better not push it.

Then he said, "That's what I thought. You're addicted to it."

"I AM NOT ADDICTED TO IT!" I yelled.

"Then why are you using it?"

"I use it when I get them. The nightmares," I whispered.

I think that freaked him out because he stared at me strangely. "What are the nightmares about?" he asked.

I've made it this far, almost three years, without telling anyone about it. I probably should tell Dumbledore when we get back. I wonder what he would do.

I told James, "Sirius."

If I had been in a better mood I might have laughed at his expression after I sad that.

"What about Sirius?" he demanded.

I fished in my memory so that I wouldn't be outright lying. "Us going out."

That just about made him fall over laughing. "You! And Sirius!"

He fell over laughing.

I wasn't too impressed, but it was true. I had had a dream about that. Along with Lily and James being together.

I hope he never finds out about that.

Love,

Jen.

_**A/N: So yea, another very quick update, and this is because I may or may not remember to update during the week. So reviewing will remind me, 'cause I really don't have a life whatsoever. Really, outside of school. Anyway I still don't own Harry Potter. PLEASE REVIEW?**_


	8. The Case of Too Much Sweets

July 29, 1973

Hello again. We went to France for the last two weeks.

I noticed that the dreams weren't as often, and James was watching me closely.

It got annoying. We shared a room so it was pretty easy for him to make sure I wasn't taking the potion, but I know I'll need it when I got back to Hogwarts.

I wonder if sleeping potion has an expiration date.

Jen

X

August 4, 1973

I'm sorry I haven't written lately. I've been..busy. I decided to brew more sleeping potion before the start of school. Which shouldn't have been a problem because I brewed it in the library, a place where James hated.

This should have been easy, except his gang came over. So that means Remus was digging through the library for new reading materials.

That forced me to move to a spot I had made a few years ago to hide from Mum and Dad (And to spy on them when they had their "talks"). It was up about eight shelves, and was hidden behind a bookcase door. I could open the door with the ladder that spun around the room. When the door opened, the space behind it was large enough for me to fit myself, a large caldron, some books, a pillow, and my legs stretching out. I had accidentally made it when I was eleven before I had gone to Hogwarts. I had been running from James.

Anyway, I think Remus getting suspicious because he asked James if everything was alright in the Library because he saw that section of the wall smoking some. I told him it was nothing. James said not to worry because it was only books, nothing like the Quidditch section. I think he would die if that section went up in flames.

James has also made sure that Sirius and I have never been in a room alone. He must be thinking that I have a crush on his best mate. It's more like he has one on me…

I did not just write that. But I did. Anyway.

LATER:

Apparently the gang is going to come over again in a few weeks. Thankfully I should be done in a few hours.

Jen

X

August 14, 1973

Apparently the gang is going to be sleeping over tonight. Remus was hesitant to agree, but in the end he swayed after Mum took him into the kitchen and said something to him.

But when she ordered us to go to bed she went to bed too. And this was before the sunset. Which is crazy. We normally don't have to go to sleep until the sun sets.

I think I have a theory, and it's going to be proven soon.

Later:

I saw Remus sneak out. And then turn into a werewolf.

I went to see James then too, and found him Sirius and Peter leaning up against the window.

"We've got to do something about this," muttered James, and the others nodded.

I can tell it wasn't going to be good.

"We've got to become Animagi," James whispered.

I was nearly blown off my feet. They couldn't do that.

LATER:

I just woke up from a nightmare. They did it. And then they tricked Snape into coming close and James saved him. I watched it happen.

James will be a hero and Sirius a…I don't even know what to call him, the evil git…

I don't know how my 17 year old self went out with him.

Jen

X

September 1, 1973

The last two weeks have been almost pure torture. The gang have been over almost every day. EVERY DAY! DO I have to repeat that?

I hope not. It was horrid. I mean, seriously. Did he have to bring them over? No. It just disrupted me from making my potion. (I had only made enough to last a week, now I have enough until Christmas)

I'm taking into consideration what Lily said about me having to get off of the potion. Well at least trying. I found a way to condense the potion in sugar so it's like a pill or a sweet that I can just eat. It has enough that will get me through the night, but just barely. It also doesn't take effect right away.

Because Lily would notice if I was eating a sweet and all of the sudden I fell asleep. I'll just have to be careful not to eat them during the day. Or hand them out to anyone.

They look almost like peppermints, or caramel blocks. The best thing is that they don't taste too awful. Though that might not be a good thing.

Anyway, Lily's trying to read this so I simply must go before she reads

LATER:

I meant to say "before she reads the part about the sweets."

Anyway, it's after the feast, and I am so excited for this year. We get to go to Hogsmead without…well, not illegally. I still think that Roberta was getting quiet annoyed with the sixth year boys who were hitting on her. (She's a year above us, but she doesn't go to Hogwarts, her parents home school her so that she can help with the shops. Her parent's own The Three Broomsticks.)

I can't wait for Halloween. But that's two whole months away.

Crossing my fingers that this remedy will work!

Love, Jen.

X

"I always wondered why she insisted on eating a sweet before bed," muttered Lily.

"I just thought it was because she had a sweet tooth."

"That's probably why she made them sweet, James," corrected Lily.

"I wonder how much potion there was in each one of those."

"A lot, one time…oh wait, it's the next entry."

"GIVE ME THAT!" cried James, snatching the book away from his wife and reading the next entry.

X

September 14, 1973

Everything was going great with the sleeping pills until Lina decided to take one without asking. Sure she was just wondering, but the moment it touched her lips she fell asleep. I found her, luckily before the others came up after lessons were done.

Or at least that's what I concluded because I saw her go into the room a minute before me. (I have a tendency to walk quietly.) There is no possible way that Lina Hawthorne is able to go to sleep in less than a minute. On the floor. Right next to my bed.

So I moved her to her bed and am now going to claim that she skipped Muggle Studies or something. Except Sirius or James might rat me out. Great. Or maybe the fact that we had Potions with all of us.

Whatever. Here someone comes. It's Emma.

LATER:

What follows is roughly what happened up until dinner.

"Where's Lina?" asked Emma (she had to pick up a book from the library before coming back, and Lily and Olivia went to post their letters from the Owlry. Alice was off talking with Professor Sprout (The New Herbology teacher who started last year) . "I saw her come up here when Lily and Olivia went to the bathroom." She walked over to her bed, putting down her bag. She glanced over at Lina's bed. "Why is she asleep?"

"We got let out early."

"No, you didn't. I just saw Sirius come into the Common Room five minutes ago. And the Muggle Studies room is ages away."

"She was tired so she decided to take a nap," I fibbed.

Then Emma said something along the lines of, that isn't possible.

"Well, today it was," I answered.

She dropped it and opened her Herbology homework to read what we were suppose to read for this afternoon.

"Damn, I haven't finished that," I muttered, reaching for the book, but all of the sudden Lily burst in along with Alice and Olivia.

"You will never guess what just happened!" squealed Lily, throwing her books on her bed. Not something you see every day.

"What?" asked Emma, closing her book.

"I got a date with Ying Chang!" cried Olivia.

"Really?" asked Emma. I couldn't really care less. He would just dump her in a few months. He probably had gotten tired of Samantha Buctker. (I almost feel sorry about her name). "But he's a Ravenclaw."

"So?" asked Lily. "He's so dreamy!"

"And yet you won't go out with James Potter," tutted Alice.

Lily made a face at her.

I closed my book, "We should probably go down for dinner," I said, putting it down.

Lily glanced over at Lina. "What's wrong with her?"

"I think someone slipped her a sleeping potion!" cried Emma, who was taking her pulse. "Jen…"

"I didn't see anything." Lily bit her lip, glancing at me as if she didn't believe me.

"Oh well, she can get something from the kitchens later," Alice said, "I'm hungry."

"Yea, come on," Emma said, dragging Olivia along with Alice out the door. I moved to follow them, but Lily held me back.

Olivia put her head around the door. "You two coming?"

"Yea, we'll be coming in a few," answered Lily, turning back to me. Olivia rushed after our friends.

"Did you…?" she asked.

"No," I answered.

"You sure, because it does look like the effects of sleeping potion, I mean she won't wake up and she's almost always a light sleeper."

"I can tell you the truth. I'm not taking it anymore." Lie. I wish I didn't have to lie to her. I just don't want to see her die. Those memories are still vivid in my mind. "You can search my corner all you want, and you won't find a thing."

She grumbled then proceeded to try and _Accio sleeping potion_. Luckily the sweets didn't come flying out. She turned to me and hugged me.

"Thanks for taking my advice!"

I almost feel guilty. I'm not taking a potion, so technically I'm not disregarding her advice. I'm just finding a loop hole.

But now that Lina basically fell asleep instantly when she ate the sweet, I must have grown accustomed to it. Built up a tolerance.

Well I better go eat. They'll be wondering where I am.

Later,

Jen.

LATER:

I'm going to try and not take the potion tonight unless I have to. Or I'll have to ask Severus to make me a potion for no dreams.

That almost ashamed me to say. Me, ask Severus Snape—Snivillus, to help me with a dreaming problem? That is so unheard of.

He normally hangs out in the Library. With Lily unfortunately.

I'll have to find a way to distract her. Anyway, I'm going to put a silencing charm on tonight. Just in case I scream. Though how will I know I scream?

Damn. I need to know that. I'll ask Lily if she…nah I'll just cast the silencing charm around our beds. That should work.

Fingers crossed,

Jen.

X

"Go now!" cried Lily, as James had paused at reading the first line of the next entry.

"How come you never told me that you knew she…was, you know, screaming at night. I'm her brother."

"I assumed you knew. I mean you're her twin brother, couldn't you sense what they were doing?"

"No. Jen was just good at predicting things."

"Yea, look at what we're reading," Lily muttered, looking at the next entry. "I'll read."

_**A/N: Here's the next part! Happy Monday! I hope you survived school (if you're in school...or whatever). Anyway. PLEASE REVIEW! THEY MAKE ME VERY, VERY HAPPY! (I also don't own HP.)**_


	9. The New Beginning

September 15,1973

Trying without it worked! I was amazed! Nothing happened.

At least, not for me.

At the very end of the night, I dreamed about a front cover of the Prophet.

In big black letters it showed, "BLACK STILL AT LARGE" with an older, not so handsome version of Sirius Black holding a Azkaban sentence of a long time.

They look nothing the same. The date was over 20 years from now. And from what I could tell, it was Harry's third year.

But really, it wasn't as bad as normal.

Hopefully it will work again.

Jen

X

September 16, 1973

They came again, but I couldn't sleep. Tonight. The effects must be slowing down. Quickly.

Emma tells me that I've been cranky, and Lina even went as to far as to ask me if TOM was seeing me.

I told them both no. Lina a bit harsher than I might have done normally.

Alice even wanted to drag me up to the hospital wing. I didn't want to so I escaped to the seventh floor where I found Severus moping. Lily had probably told him off again for his friends. But anyway, What follows is roughly our conversation.

"Go away Potter, if you've come to tease me."

"I haven't…Severus," I answered, forcing the name out of my mouth. "I've actually got a favor to ask." I sat across the hall from him so we were eye level.

"What will I get in return?"

"I'll curse James and Sirius in front of the Great Hall," I supplied. "Or I'll tell Lily to stop telling your friends off."

He grinned at the prospect of getting back at James and Sirius through me. (They both bullied him to no extent.) "The first one, I've got to get Lily back on my own."

I nodded, grinning as ideas flowed through my head.

"What's the favor?" he asked.

"Do you know any way to get the results of a sleeping potion, dreamless sleep in a way, without actually taking sleeping potion?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I have recurring dreams."

"Of what?"

"Lily dying." I didn't add that James was married to her and they had a child.

He paled and pulled out a piece of parchment. "Have you tried sleeping potion?"

"Of course!" I answered. "And I got addicted. I've just recently gotten off it and I need it. Lily forbade me from taking it last summer, but I didn't and I hate crossing her."

He nodded, scribbling on his parchment. "I'll get it back to you at the end of the week."

"Thanks!" I grinned.

"Prank Potter before the end of the week," he drawled. "And keep away from Potions. Anything might trigger it."

"You'll be happy," I grinned, standing up and offering a hand. He stared at it for a second before taking it and pulling himself to his feet. "But just to make sure, this doesn't qualify us as friends."

"Of course," he answered.

I'm so glad. I can't wait for tomorrow. Pranking James and Sirius is going to be brilliant.

-Jen

X

September 18, 1973

I've tried not to use the potion, but I can't help it. I need it.

These dreams have stopped for the most part, only because I can't sleep at night. Which means there are no more nightmares. It's quiet fun actually, to stay up all night, but it's not good for me and I know it.

I think Lily notices the shadows under my eyes, even through the glimmer charms and all that shit I learned over the summer in case this happened. And it did.

So now where do I stand in my dreams? If I could even have them now.

I wish I did. I take them over sleepless nights.

Well, at least I've been learning more.

Reading the textbooks a thousand times just to get the old dreams out of my head. But it doesn't help. They're still there.

And it's only been two days. I don't think I can last the week.

-Jen

X

"That's how she learned so much over night," muttered Lily, running her hands through her hair. "I wondered how she moved up a person in our class."

"I didn't," James muttered, taking the book gently and turning the page.

"You knew?" accused Lily.

"Heavens no, but I always knew she was clever enough to figure out how to learn a lot of stuff. I mean, she made this box." James gestured towards the box.

"I remember that from third year. I tried to get in there because I thought she was still using sleeping potions, but I couldn't open it. I even told her to open it and she did, but there was nothing in it."

"Maybe we'll find out why she needed it," James muttered and began to read.

X

September 19, 1973

I just stayed up for 36 hours straight, and I know you're not supposed to do that. But I can't help it.

I can't sleep so I came up with a box, one that Mum gave me a few years ago. She shrunk it fit in my chest, telling me the counter spell and saying, "Open it when you get to Hogwarts."

I did and I found only a note that read. Wait, I'll find it.

Here it is:

_Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter, dear daughter. _

_This box was given to me by my mother when I went to Hogwarts for the first time and her mother to her. I wish it to give the same comfort to you as it gave to me. _

_Now there is a charm set upon it that will let you change how you open it. I preferred sliding, but you don't have to keep it that why. Or if you want a key or not and what happens if someone else opens it by chance. _

_Choose carefully my daughter. _

_Much love and luck,_

_Mum_

I never thought much of it until now. I've set it so that only I can open it, and if someone forces me to open it…well. I dunno. I'll have to put delusion charms on it.

Crap. I haven't pranked James and Sirius yet! I have to do that now!

Love,

Jen

LATER:

I finished pranking them. When they wake up they won't know how their hair got the way it is. Oh it will be hilarious.

(I died their hair bright blue and that isn't even the start of it.)

X

September 20, 1973

When James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus walked into the Great Hall, everyone stared. I mean, the two most popular guys in the whole school walking in with blue hair.

"OI POTTER! GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED!?" called a Slytherin.

James sneered at the boy, greatly acknowledging the teachers at the end of the hall, but I knew that look. The moment they were alone he would snap.

"Calm it," I muttered as he sat down across from me. "Anyway, do you have any idea who did it?"

"I would say Sirius, but why would he do it to himself?" he muttered.

I pulled my wand out of my bag and carefully pointed it at the two boys, making sure that no one around me saw, I muttered the charm for making things sticky. I wanted to laugh but I didn't I instead got up and left the Great Hall, winking at Snape as I passed the table.

I swear I saw him smirk.

LATER: After I left the Great Hall he came after me after a few minutes. I was sitting on the grounds, waiting for the first class.

"I finished it," he said, holding out a small bottle of a clear liquid and a piece of parchment.

I stood up, taking the two objects. "Thanks Severus."

"You're welcome Po—Jenica."

I smiled. "I prefer Jen." I frowned, why was I talking with this guy. "Anyway. How did you do it?"

"I dabble," he muttered sitting down carefully.

"Oh gee, that's helpful," I hissed, walking away. "Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome Jen."

Boy was he just asking for a jinx in the back, but my pride stopped me from doing that. He had just helped me. I looked down at the small bottle.

I was tempted to drink some right then, but instead I shoved it into my bag, and just in time too, as Lily rounded the corner.

"Oh there you are! You've simply got to come and see it, James and Sirius are stuck on their chairs!"

X

September 21, 1973

I managed to get to sleep tonight. There were dreams, but they weren't of Lily dying, but instead of a little boy doing a lot of household work with an especially fat boy.

Very fat.

Jen

X

"What does she mean doing housework with a fat boy?" demanded Lily.

"He must go somewhere after we die," James muttered.

"Don't say that! We aren't going to die!" cried Lily.

"Lils, let's get some sleep, it's Hollow's Eve tomorrow, we can finish them tomorrow."

Lily looked up at her husband that she had so loathed for so many years.

"Don't be silly. Hollow's Eve is this Saturday!"

"Of course my dear," James grinned, wrapping his arm around her waist and leading her away from the kitchen table and towards the upstairs.

What they didn't see as they were leaving was a shadow drift over the kitchen table, a shadow of a woman.

**END OF PART I**

_**A/N: No this is not the end of the story and no I don't own Harry Potter. I'm so sorry I didn't upload yesterday! HONESTLY! You guys are fantastic and I'm just a blob who sits around trying to confuse people and stump them. YAY! PLEASE REVIEW! :D I shall give you cookies! **_


	10. Scattered Thoughts

The next morning Lily rolled over to see her husband's face light up by the sunlight.

She then remembered that Jen was gone, she would never see her face again.

Lily sighed, getting up slowly, lethargic. "James," she murmured quietly.

x

That afternoon when Harry had gone to take a nap, Lily and James sat down in the front room and put the box in-between the two of them.

"Go on, let's read the rest," Lily said quietly. James nodded, opening the box and pulling out the journal they had begun the other day.

"It's almost done," he said simply.

Lily nodded quietly, sinking back into the comfy couch to listen to him read.

"September 22, 1973," he began before the two of them were once again immersed in the story of Jenica Potter.

X

September 22, 1973

I've successfully managed to sleep again without many problems. It's great too, I feel rested, but I've got the dreams, which haven't been so horrid really. I'm quiet glad really.

Though I should probably try and get off of it eventually. Let's say, by the end of the year, if I've managed to get off of it, I'll buy myself fourteen sugar quills. But I shall steal the money from someone else.

Probably James.

Love,

Jen

x

September 23, 1973

Snape at first told me that I should take one vile of the stuff every day, but last night, I used a little less.

The shameful thing is that I've still got all those sweets from the beginning of the year. Well, not rightly sweets, but still. I've still got them stuffed in the drawer at the bottom. Ah well, I'll get rid of them later.

Anyway, at the rate that I am cutting off of the potion, I should be good by the end of December, if not sooner. At least, by that time I hope to be fully off.

Forever. Hopefully.

Love,

Jen

X

September 24, 1973

I simply want to murder Black. And sent his entrails to rot in the breath of a dragon and send his body to the deepest part of the ocean. And curse his soul a thousand times.

Okay maybe not a thousand curses, but a large number at least. Something in the hundreds.

You are probably wonder why I want to curse a certain Sirius Black.

Well, he has been, to no end, bugging me. Entirely too much for my taste.

First, when I ate breakfast, he sat next to me. Second when we were in Divination and he spilled ink all over my newest skirt. Third when we were in Charms and he purposefully rammed his books into my head. Fourth when we were in Herbology and he managed to spill dirt into my shoes and then water.

Need I go on? I don't think so, so I won't.

Anyway.

I need…something. I don't remember what it was.

Anyway, Night.

Jen

X

September 25, 1973

Hello again.

I had another nightmare last night. This time I dreamt that Sirius and Peter were going at it in a Muggle town somewhere.

After awhile Peter pulled his wand out of his pocket and put it behind his back, and shot off some spell that killed everyone in the street…except Sirius. And himself.

He got away.

And I watched it happen. Sirius get arrested in front of me. And just before he was taken away, I swear I saw him look straight at me and whisper, "Jen?"

I just hope these are exactly what I think they are. Just dreams, nothing more. I can only hope though.

Love,

Jen

X

September 30,1973

Today Lily tried to get me to read a book. Some book called Sherlock Holmes or something or other. I told her to bugger off. Mostly because that isn't exactly on the top of my mind.

What is on the top of my mind you ask? Killing Sirius Black as usual. And that dream I had a few days ago. The one with Sirius and Peter.

It's not like Sirius to just give up. And what was Peter doing, blowing up the street. As much as I hate the nightmares I really want—need to know what the hell is going on in their lives.

Classes are as boring as ever. I mean, does Binns try and murder us all by sleeping? And does McGonagall try and hammer our heads onto the tables?

LATER:

I just wish that Lily and James could stop arguing now. Right now.

I'm in the common room and all of the sudden James asked Lily out again and she flipped out. Completely.

I don't even know what about. We were all just sitting there, doing homework or playing games peacefully when all of the sudden Lily just burst out screaming.

It didn't make sense.

Love,

Jen.

X

"How much longer is this?" muttered James, thumbing through the rest of the book.

"Don't do that!" scoffed Lily. "She'll say what she needs to say in her own time!"

"This was like ten years ago!"

"Seven actually, almost exactly," Lily mumbled. James' eyes drifted back to the page he had stopped on.

"Do you remember that day? The first day you yelled at me outright?"

"Of course. You had it coming though. Everyone knew that except you."

"Sure, but why did you yell at me?"

"I don't remember."

The two stared at each other before Lily turned the page to the next entry.

X

October, 5 1973

Nothing special happened today except that I had a nightmare last night. Again.

It was this time about Harry and he was running through a maze, looking for something and there were other people in there. They just…it looked like they were trying to kill each other. I just wish, I just wish this won't be true, but the chances are that they will. Sadly.

Sometimes I bloody hate my brain.

Jen

X

October 10, 1973

Hullo again.

I dunno what to write about.

Today, I spilled some kind of puss all over Sirius, if that counts for anything.

Love,

Jen

X

November 24, 1973

Sorry. So, so sorry I haven't written.

Not much was going on, but so much was. See, I discovered that I can dream…well kind of…erm

See ya Later, Lily's calling

Jen.

**_A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, and I thought I'd be nice and give you this because I forgot yesterday. I think. See, this is my problem, I forget. So ReVEIW to make me remember! YAY! Please?_**


	11. Discovering the End

December 1, 1973

Hullo again dear. I was quite busy the last few days and just haven't had time to do anything worth notice.

Except last night.

I took special care to make sure that my silencing charms were in place before I went to sleep, and made sure to give Lily a sweet before she went to bed. (Not the normal sweets, but mine, that I still haven't gotten rid of.)

Anyway last night was worse than ever if you can call it that.

For some reason I was there again. At the deaths of Lily and James.

Except it didn't stop there.

I thought it was bad when I just saw them die and then I woke up, but I had taken some of Snape's potion before I went to sleep and that was not letting me wake up, much like the sleeping potion was supposed to do.

As I was saying it didn't stop where I saw a flash of green light and James was dead and then Lily died later. When I first had that dream I had cried, but now, it's such a common occurrence that I don't even blink. How horrid is that?

But anyway, this time I saw what happened directly afterwards.

For a few minutes after I watched them die it was still and Harry was just crying. I sure hoped that he wouldn't remember it later. But then, Sirius burst through the door and tried to run up the stairs but stopped. For James was lying there. Dead.

He just stared at him for what seemed like ages, before covering his eyes and sitting on the steps crying. He just sat there, like he couldn't do anything. Not while his best friend was dead.

After a minute he seemed (more like an hour) more together and he managed to climb the stairs to where Lily was and again, he cried, just cried and cried.

All this while, Harry, the boy was staring at him, Sirius kicked a wall and leaped out on the roof, pulling his hair with his fists.

Just then Snape came running through the house, doing who knows what, he ran past James, freaking out, but when he took one glance at Lily, he sobbed. He leaned heavily against the door and just sobbed.

There were far too many tears for my liking.

But then, Snape became aware of Sirius's yelling on the rooftop and he fled, running out the door. I watched him leave, it was far too fast for a friend to leave, more like a lover caught staring at their infatuation.

Just then a roar of an engine came from the window, but I awoke before I could find out what it was.

When I finally came to my senses, Lily and the others were crowded around my bed. I could tell that the others had awoken and wondered why I wasn't awake, taken down the silencing charm with wonder and watched me cry.

That's what Em told me at least. She said that I was covered in sweat and tears muttering something about Sirius and Snape and Lily and some boy named Harry.

Lina then barged into the equation demanding if I had a secret boyfriend named Harry.

I felt like sending a sneezing charm her way, but being the 'good' friend I am, I resisted.

Yea, right.

Anyway, I have to go, Lily's yelling, so I must leave.

Yours,

Jen

X

Lily looked silently up at James, who had just as much awe on his face as she did.

"What the hell did we just read?" muttered James.

Lily was silent for a second, reflecting on what she had just read. "I don't want to die," she whispered, hugging James close to her.

"I think we just read what will happen after we die…" James muttered.

"But why," sobbed Lily, as James rubbed circles into her back.

"Shh," he whispered and began to read the next entry.

X

December 5, 1973

I have reduced my dose of potion to a little less than a third of the vile now. Meaning I should be completely off of it by the New Year. Though I will have to keep the potion recipe in the box I made last year, or whenever I made that.

I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.

Love,

Jen

X

"FIND IT!" cried Lily, jumping on the box and ruffling through the papers.

"Wait, look, it's a pouch and a vile," James pointed out, picking up a small leather pouch and a glass vile.

"Where's the recipe?" asked Lily, shuffling through the papers, before finding it at the bottom. She opened it carefully. On the top of it was scrawled in Snape's drawl:

_Potter-_

_Here is your potion, I found your display of Potter and Black, most hilarious. The pouch has an extendable charm that I got from my mother, and that is what I put in the pouch. The vile is how much you should take every night at exactly ten o'clock in the evening. The pouch will hold about two months worth, or 100 doses, about. I tried it out last night on one of my roommates and after previously trying out the 'sweet' you gave me as a bench mark on how much sleeping potion you used on the same roommate, he told me that the potion I have made was more effective than the actual sleeping potion. _

_-Severus Snape_

Listed below was the list of ingredients and directions, again scrawled in his messy handwriting.

James, who had been looking through the box some more, found another note while Lily had been reading Snape's note aloud.

"Lils, look what I found," he said, pulling out a folded piece of parchment labeled _Potion Notes_.

"It's just her potion notes, James," Lily muttered.

"Think again, it's not. That's just what she charmed them to look like, you see, here, it says, _tap parchment and reveal the message to be read_."

Lily picked up her wand and tapped the note briefly and the words were unscrambled and a message made clear. The two leaned in, eager to read what Jen had written so many years ago.

**_Snape-_**

**_Thank you for the potion, though you needn't have tested it on your pour roommate. I am eager to get off the potion, could I possibly lower the dosage every night? The pouch is nice too, do you want it back?_**

**_-Jen_**

_Potter-_

_He deserved it. Probably. No._

_-Severus Snape_

**_Snape-_**

**_Jeeze, no need to be so warm Snape. Thanks though. _**

**_-Jen_**

_Potter-_

_Stop sending me notes across the potions' room. I'm trying to work on the dreamless potion. _

_-Severus Snape_

**_Snape-_**

**_Old Sluggie can live with a bit of parchment in the air. Live a little. Anyway, we've both aced the dreamless sleep potions. _**

**_-Jen_**

_Shut up._

The paper was crumpled, and looked like it had been dunked in a potion rather roughly, so the rest of the words were unreadable, if there were any.

"On to the next entry?" asked James, picking up the journal again.

Lily nodded, her eyes not lifting from the papers before her, as if she were reliving the moments before her own eyes. James glanced longingly at her before continuing.

_**A/N: Sorry it's so short. I promise I'll update once I see a review, or yea. I don't own Harry Potter. AND DID YOU HEAR, THEY'RE MAKING ANOTHER HARRY POTTER MOVIE! Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them! (Which I haven't actually read, but I will.) PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW?**_


	12. Facing What Is To Come

December 12, 1973

Lily has declared that ever since James has taken a liking to her (which I know how it will turn out in the end) she will refuse to go out in the corridors because she claims that this year they will put of mistletoe to "torture pour innocent girls into kissing someone."

I told her to suck it up and made her walk out of her bed by accioing all the spiders in our room to her bed. Merlin, was her expression funny. I wish I could do it again, but I think she got the message.

-Jen

LATER:

We covered boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

I should probably explain.

So we walked into the class room of Monsieur Burnheart (our new DADA teacher this year, (both of our previous Professors, Ludwing and Butcher, had mishaps happen and so they were unable to attend the next year.)) we saw the mysterious wardrobe that took up most of the front of the room.

We then proceeded, the ones with older siblings who had told their younger siblings about the dreaded day when they would have to face their fears, where scared out of our wits.

He told us the usual, "Think about what you're afraid of, then picture it funny," junk and then proceeded to unlock the wardrobe.

Olivia Patil went first to face a mummy. Then Theo Parkinson with a bat.

And then it was James's turn with McGonagall telling him that he wasn't allowed to play Quidditch, which is stupid, but still, I wouldn't give up my beater's spot for anything so…

Anyway.

After a few more students it was my turn.

For a second there was nothing as the boggart tried to read me, but eventually settled on James.

People frowned behind me, I could tell, and Sirius fought back a laugh. I stared at it, wondering where this was going before Boggart James said, "Jenica Potter, I know your little secret, I know why you scream at night."

My mind blanked, I had to stop the boggart before it got any farther. I had to, otherwise I would end up in St. Mungo's in the 'never getting out' wing.

"I know why you scream and cry in the night…" Boggart James drawled on, looking far more malevolent then James normally did.

I cried, "Riddikulus!" Trying to stop him from advancing, but the boggart only changed into Lily, who proceeded right where James left off.

"You dream it again and again, predicting the future…" Boggart Lily began.

By this time I knew everyone was riveted to what the boggart was saying. I tried to imagine, Lily without a voice box and shouted, "RIDDIKULUS!"

The Boggart Lily's mouth opened and shut more, but no sound came out. I was pulled back into the crowd of people who had already gone, turning the boggart over to Lily, for whom it switched to Petunia shouting at her because she was a witch.

I can't write anymore, I'm sorry, but I don't ever want to relive this again.

-Jenica Potter

X

December 15, 1973

Today, in Divination, Sirius Black, the git, decided to tell Professor Mopsus that I had had a vision of the future in my dreams. Professor Mopsus then proceeded, in his blind way to try and get me to reveal my dreams.

I didn't. Not in front of a class.

He called me back, saying to me, "You are dreaming of your friends death, no?"

I nodded, not remembering that he was blind, before saying, "Yes."

He nodded, shuffling through his papers. "I have seen it too my dear. So many lives will be lost before the decade is out."

"Yes, sir." I had figured that much out. "Do you have any guess at why?"

"Divination is not a guessing game Ms. Potter, as you probably know through your dreams, but an art that must have finesse. If you are suggesting that I cannot do this, then you are wrong."

"Yes, sir."

"And even if I knew the cause, I could never tell anyone, for that is the burden of the seers, the future must be in riddles and rhymes so that even I, a talented seer, cannot wring the truth from its cloth. Time is not to be meddled with my dear, you must remember that."

He must be off his rocker. He must be.

I can't be a seer, after all, James isn't. He can barely see when a bludger comes at him.

-Jen

X

December 17, 1975

Professor Mopsus tried to introduce me to Sybill Trelawney, saying that future seers should know each other. She's a year younger than me, and quite strange, I think . She seems…unraveled a bit.

She kept staring at me weirdly, until I finally left. Talk about rude.

-Jen.

X

December 19, 1973

Today, during out free period at the beginning of the day (since we had Astronomy last night), Sirius thought it would be a wonderful idea to share his "talents" with the whole common room, waking most of us up at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning.

I was one of the first ones down to the common room to see if someone was being murdered because I've been backing off the Snoozing Potion (that's Snape's potion) it only lasts until one in the morning, past that, I sleep by myself without potions.

So I was there when I saw one of the seventh year girls, I think Thalia Jentz, run down the stairs, whip wildly around, trying to figure out who was dead, before seeing Sirius, who she promptly approached, grabbed his guitar, and smashed it over his head and then went back to her room.

I imagine that it would hurt badly to have a guitar smashed over your head, but Sirius didn't look delayed, so he just repaired the guitar, not caring that it was out of tune from being broken, and kept on singing. Fearing the seventh year girl would come back down, I quickly placed a silencing charm around him and the couch, so if you were sitting on the couch, you could hear him, if not, you couldn't. (Meaning, he could unless he decided to walk away from the couch, in which case, I don't think he would survive it)

-Jen

LATER:

This afternoon we had History of Magic right before dinner for a double period, which is always awful, so I brought this to keep me company.

-Jen

LATER:

I fell asleep in class, luckily I had Mum charm this that unless I know that someone is reading my journal with my permission, all they see is random letters.

So Lily tried to tell me that I was insane, but I wasn't paying attention, I was too busy remembering what had been in my dream.

This time it was not in a part of the castle that I could recognize because it was dank and dark and gloomy. There was that red-head boy and Harry and some professor that I got the immediate theory that he was a fraud. I was proven right moments later.

Harry then proceeded to save some girl from a very dashing boy who turned out to be someone who was named Voldemort (what kind of name is that?)

That was when Lily woke me up. But not before I could notice that the girl looked a little bit like Lily. Just because of the ginger hair.

-Jen

_**A/N: If you can guess the last dream KUDOS TO YOU! Also, THANk YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! And I HOPE YOU HAVE A MARVELOUS EVENING! (I may or may not update tomorrow, I'm going to be out of town for the evening to see my friends and you don't care) I don't own Harry Potter, just so you know. PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	13. The Christmas Holidays

December 21, 1973

HULLO AGAIN MY DEAR FRIEND!

As you might have guess already, I am excited today! You wanna know why? Because today is the first day that I haven't had a nightmare the night before!

AND I'm almost off the potion so that means my brain is getting tired!

Or I'm just forgetting the dreams, which is far more likely.

You know I should probably start trying to figure all this out, the story of Harry.

I know that Lily and James get together and I get together with Sirius and then something happens to me and then Lily and James die and then Harry goes to live with some horrible people and then he goes to Hogwarts and then gets attacked by Voldemort all the time…

And that's as far as I've gotten.

I should really write this down.

Anyway. For some strange reason I haven't. Anyway.

See you later,

Jen

X

December 23, 1973

Hey again. The night after the last entry I had a dream. It was about I think Harry's third year again.

And last night I had a dream about something…I can't remember much of it. But I remember there was a full moon and an older version of Remus turned into a werewolf.

Jen

X

December 24, 1973

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE.

I went to Hogsmead this morning to finally get gifts for Lily, Alice (who I have to send it too), Emma, Lina, Olivia, James, Remus, and Peter. And I got a bumbling buzzer for Sirius. Because they make you buzz around like a bee and that's all you can say for hours.

Anyway. Today, while I was checking out my products from Honeydukes (surprisingly they didn't question why I was there not on a Hogsmead Weekend) I had a flashback. Well, really a flash forward.

This is roughly what it was.

_"What do you mean dead?" I asked severely. _

_"They're dead. Not breathing. Just like our parents," Sirius answered, his head in his hands. "It's not safe now." He rubbed the back of his neck, like he was in pain. "It's my fault."_

_"Don't say that," I commanded. _

_"But it is!" he nearly shouted. "If I had just stayed secret keeper—"_

Then Mr. Honeydukes, as I like to call him, interrupted him. Well, my head.

But what in the hell did he mean by like our parents.

Jen

X

Lily stared at her husband. "I remember that," she muttered. "Your parents…"

James nodded distracted. "They treated him like a son."

"He deserved better parents that what he had, that's for sure," Lily murmured.

"Hmm…" grunted James as he flipped the page. "Nearly to the end of this book."

"Journal, dear," Lily whispered.

X

December 25, 1973

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I can't believe it! It was just me, Lily, Emma, Lina, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter in the whole tower. The one other person who had stayed for the holidays was some seventh year that went out of the common room, muttering something about 'Stupid third years.'

I assume that his girlfriend is the head girl. It's said that the heads have their own common room somewhere in the castle where they can relax or something.

It's just a rumor though.

Everyone loved their gifts of chocolate or joke things. Lily loved her new quills, and Lina was happy that she finally got socks for Christmas.

And I got this.

Lily-A planner that I will throw away as soon as possible and a few chocolate frogs

Lina- Some broom polish and gloves for Quidditch

Alice-A book on plants that are narcotic (I'm quoting the book, I have no idea what narcotic means, I think it's a drug thing…something to do with your brain…)

James-A journal, goo thing too, chocolate, and some spell-o-tape that was wrapped around the journal..repeatedly

Remus-A few books on Muggle Literature which look sort of interesting

Peter-Food I swear was on the table this morning (wrapped in a napkin)

Sirius-

Emma-A jade broach she says is from China in the shape of a swan and a morning glory flower

You probably noticed the blank next to Sirius's name. That is because he gave me a piece of paper with a lipstick mark on it, swearing that it was his kiss to me. For the holidays.

I threw it away.

Into this box.

Jen

X

Lily laughed loudly. "Find it!" she cried, ruffling through the rest of the box before finally pulling a piece of parchment with a smeared lipstick mark on it.

James smiled and reached for it.

"Nah, keep reading!" Lily smiled, dropping the parchment back into the box.

"Fine, but we'll have to show Sirius that later!" joked James. Or was he.

X

December 27, 1973

I'm almost off the potion. YAY! :D

Jen

X

December 29, 1973

Sorry I haven't written. I just haven't…made the time lately. Anyway.

I had a dream where I was at St. Mungo's and Lily was there and she was in labor and then it was a blur and then James came out holding a baby boy in his arms, smiling and he said to me. "Isn't he beautiful?"

I nearly felt like saying, "Happy you finally have proof you did it with Lily?"

But I didn't, because I was in the dream, but…

Anyway. It seems like it's late this fine evening. Not much has happened over break other than mounds of pranks being played and games of truth or dare and Shag-Marry-Kill and hide-and-go-seek and a whole bunch of other strange games.

It's been hilarious. I wish I could have made up a spell so that if this was in the room, it'd record it perfectly.

Jen

P.S. I should really work on that.

X

December 31, 1973

Hullo. The last day of 1973. Wow. It's been a long year. Got an addiction, got over it. The whole shebang.

What kind of word is that, shebang? Does it mean bang her? Whatever. WHO CARES.

I shall go sing a merry song and annoy the heck out of Sirius who is yet again trying to mimick the Beatles' record that Remus gave him over Christmas. (Where he got the megaphone thing I have no idea. I thought muggle stuff didn't work in Hogwarts.)

Jen

P.S. As you can probably tell, this is the last page. WELCOME. Now. Go onto the next book! Marked 1974-19_ like this one was marked 1971-1973

_**A/N: I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE YESTERDAY! DON'T KILL ME PLEASE! I was busy doing homework and when I turned off my computer I had forgotten and then I had to go to bed and...it's a long story. Anyway. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! THEY MAKE PEOPLE SMILE! Love, Eluse!**_

_**(P.S. I was going to post this and I saw the number of views and it was 394...I literally laughed out loud! THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS!)**_


	14. Mopsus's Revenge

James stared at Lily before closing the book and pushing it forward along with the notes they had read previously.

"Well, is it in there?" asked James, gesturing to the box which was closer to Lily. She lifted the lid and shifted about an inch of memorabilia out of the way and pulled out the next journal.

"Here it is," she said quietly, opening to the first entry.

"Here we go," James muttered as Lily began to read.

X

January 1, 1974

Hullo! Welcome to the new year! And if anything did happen last night, I wrote about it in the last entry, dated December 31,1973.

Since it is midnight and one minute, nothing has happened today and if it has I wrote about it in the last entry, and stuff.

Anyway, I'll try and write as soon as possible.

Love,

Jen

X

January 5, 1974

I almost wrote 1973. I can't believe that I'll be 14 in a few months, and Lily is turning 14 in 25 days or so.

So yea…let's hope we can actually throw a good birthday party this year and not have it be a total fail like last year or whatever.

Anywho, I should really start planning that soon.

Jen

X

January 10, 1974

Hullo again.

I just had the worst dream ever.

I was sitting in Divination when all of the sudden, Barty Crouch Jr. (who is in my year by the way) was in court being tried for being a Death Eater. See I fell asleep during Mopsus's talking, again. I've done it before, but this time I woke up screaming and he immediately looked at me with his freaky blind white eyes and just said one word, "Talk."

So I had to make up a lie to cover it up. I think I said something about having Sirius dancing on Christmas or something. James just stared at me and Lily looked worried to no end.

"What?" I demanded before trying to rush out of the room but Mopsus made the doors close, locking us all in and he said, "If you don't tell us of your dream at this very moment, I will not let any of you out of this room."

I froze, there was no way I could stay there, and there was no way I could tell anyone.

"Do I have to tell everyone?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered. "You all might want to get comfortable." And to prove his point he sat down on his chair and sighed, crossing his arms. "Go on."

It took a lot of effort not to make a rude hand sign at him, seeing as he's blind and all.

"What if it was in the future?" I asked, remembering what he had said.

"Then you'll have to tell it."

Merlin, I was so happy that I hadn't dreamed of Lily and James dying.

"And that reoccurring one too."

"How'd you know about that Professor?" I asked.

"Dear, please continue, and tell."

"Fine, I dreamed about my friends dying."

"A little more specific, please."

"I dreamed about Lily and James dying and then one I just had now was about Bartimus Crouch in court."

That made everyone silent. Deathly silent. "Why was he in court?" asked Mopsus, leaning forward in his chair.

I looked up at the boy in mention. "You do realize that he is in this room at the moment Professor and you once told me that one should not know their own future," I answered curtly.

He nodded, leaning back in his chair. "So, tell it in a riddle," he answered, knowing that Ravenclaws were in the room and would try and figure it out.

I thought for a moment before coming up with this:

_The end is and thou art hungry._

Mopsus nodded like he knew what was going on, but everyone else stared at me.

"YOU SOUND INSANE!" yelled Sirius, crossing his arms and standing up. "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?"

"Language Mr. Black," Mopsus reprimanded. "You are to serve detention with Ms. Potter this Saturday at 5:00 A.M. in the Owlry to clean up the mess that owls make. Without magic."

"Why me?" I demanded. "What have I done!"

"It is for what you will do, and because of what you just did," he answered.

"What if I chose not to do this thing!" I yelled.

"Then you shall be a very wise person, Ms. Potter. Class dismissed!"

That moment I accidentally dropped an ink pot on Professor Flitwick when I got to the stairs.

I told him I had already gotten detention with Mopsus in the Owlry for that reason.

He didn't quite believe me and stormed off to Mopsus's room to vent.

I wouldn't blame him. Any kid wouldn't want to do two detentions.

Jen

X

January 12, 1974

So as you may or may not know, today I had to do detention with Mr. Sirius Black. Which was horrible. In the Owlry, without magic.

So I showed up at 5:00 A.M. directly on the ball and Sirius showed up an hour late. Professor Mopsus, who was there, waiting for us, told him that he just earned the both of us another detention at the same time the next day and everyday following that unless he got his butt up at the correct time.

I have to say, it was good of Mopsus to step in like that, but maybe he could, ya, know, NOT INCLUDE ME IN THAT DECISION! Or whatever you want to call it.

So anyway, after we finally got started (Mopsus produced a bucket and rags and toothbrushes and then left telling us that we couldn't leave until at least the top floor was done)

So Sirius said, after he had left, "You'd think we were caught doing it in his room," he muttered.

I blushed, as I have had the dream where the two of us were alone in his room. I mean Mopsus's room. Not Sirius's. That would be far too serious.

Anyway.

"No, we'd have to have almost killed someone to get this kind of treatment."

Harry, according to one of my dreams yesterday, had gotten similar treatment from Snape in his sixth year for some reason. For almost killing Draco Malfoy. Can't say he didn't deserve it. Honestly.

Anyway. I've got to go, Mopsus will probably be back soon, and Sirius is yelling at me to stop writing away in here during our break.

I'm going to die.

Jen

LATER:

It's nearly supper time and we just barely got the floor done. Oh god, this is going to take forever.

Didn't it occur to him that maybe this wasn't the most brilliant idea? Wait, I have one.

Jen

X

January 13, 1974

So today I showed up early for detention. Sirius showed up late as usual and Mopsus left us the bucket.

So just as Sirius was bending down to grab the rags and start cleaning, I reached out and grabbed his hand. At least he stopped and didn't make any snarky remarks because Mopsus wasn't out of range by then.

"What?" he hissed, dropping the rag back into the bucket.

"Magic," I winked.

I had figured it out. Mopsus never intended for us to have to clean the entire Owlry by ourselves, he wanted to see if we could figure it out.

So I stood up in the middle of the Owlry with all those owls staring at me and Sirius looking at me with a funny expression on his face. "It has to be done, and it hasn't been done, but it will be done, and because of what has been done."

All of the sudden, our wands appeared on the floor in front of me (he had taken them away, claiming they would return once we finished). I picked them up and then proceeded to Scorgify the whole place. Sirius just stared at me for a moment before helping too.

In that moment, I could see why a girl could like him.

But just not me.

Jen

P.S. Why would we even date in seventh year? Lily and Snape have a better chance at being romantically involved than we do!

X

_**A/N: I AM SO SO SORRY! School got really annoying and so did life and everything is just really annoying isn't it as an introvert! So anyway, I don't own Harry Potter and I shall try to make this up to you somehow! Please review!**_


	15. Hair Loss

January 15, 1974

Today in Divination Mopsus stood up in front of the class and began to read a book, out loud.

I then figured out what it was, it was the dreams that I had been having. I hadn't even thought about it, but I had written down the dreams that I had been having in the dream dairy that we were suppose to write.

"Lily and James died….Harry was in his third year and Sirius was a bad man…"

I had to stop him. "PROFESSOR!" I yelled, glancing over at Lily and James and Sirius and Remus and Lina and Emma, and poor little Peter.

"You have to stop!" I cried.

"Jenica Potter, you have nothing on me, dear," he muttered, but closed the book. "I was not going to read it all. And I did not say when. Everyone is going to do and no one man is always good."

I sat down again and remained silent.

Jen

LATER:

During dinner Sirius sat down next to me and demanded that I tell him 'what the hell did Mopsus mean by saying that he was a freaking bad man?'

I couldn't tell him so I just said that you did something that you shouldn't have in one of my dreams. He then took on a slightly thinking expression before saying, "I didn't sleep with you did I?"

To which I responded by burning his hair and storming out of the Great Hall.

Jen

X

January 16, 1974

Sirius's hair today was hilarious, he was moaning and all that about his poor hair. James looked like he could have seriously hurt him or something.

And after lunch Sirius came up to me and asked, "So do I take that as I slept with you? Because you must've been drunk or something, right? I mean, you'd never sleep with _me_." I stared at him for a moment before answering.

"Why couldn't you have been drunk too?" and I stood up before answering his question from the other day, "And it wasn't that."

And as I was walking away I thought I heard him say, "I wouldn't have to be drunk." But it could have possibly been, "I need to be dunked." I really think it was the second option.

I guess I haven't written down my dreams in a while, which I know I should, but I can't, mostly because I don't want to live it more than I know I'll have to.

But all I can hope is that they are truly just dreams.

Jen

LATER

I just had a dream when I fell asleep in History of Magic telling me that I had to write them down. It was Lily and James, the older versions, saying something about that and stuff.

Jen

LATER

Snape came up to me to ask how my dreams where going. I told him to back off. And Sirius got defensive and James asked Lily out again today.

Jen

X

Lily looked up at her husband. "I had a dream last night telling her to write her dreams down," she muttered softly.

"I did too, you were there," James answered, brushing his wife's hair out of her face.

"Hmm…" she grumbled. "Go on."

X

January 18, 1974

Hullo again.

I had a dream last night about a horrid woman in pink. It was awful. It was Harry's fifth year I think, judging by the look of him and all.

Jen

Later:

_"There comes a point in life where you want to give up. Last night, Miranda Golds did so," a voice echoed around the hall. "She was kind and strong and brave and was a friend to many of us, but she was not strong enough to stand against the Dark Lord. Fear him. Fear us…"_

_There was general screaming as people rushed to get out of the way of the people who were coming down from the platform and were starting to perform spells at the people in the crowd. _

_"Hayley! RUN!" yelled a female voice beside me, and a girl with pin straight brown hair pushed me towards the back of the crowd. _

_"ABBY!" I shouted, trying to stop her, pull her back towards the commotion. _

_The girl grabbed my shoulders, staring into my eyes. "You told me once the reason why you are no longer in England is because you couldn't stay was because of this kind of thing."_

_"I brought this here!" I cried, trying not to break down. _

_"Stay strong, okay? But go. We'll take care of this," the girl smiled and pushed me toward the alleyway. "Go to Bristol!" she shouted before turning back into the commotion, several people joining her as she went. _

_"Good luck fighting," I whispered before running away. _

That is what just happened in my dreams during History of Magic. Don't ask me why she didn't call me Jen and why the hell I was in America.

I have no idea.

Jen

X

January 25, 1974

Sorry for not writing, I probably could've in the last few days, but I've been so afraid of my dreams, that I couldn't fall asleep.

I don't want to become addicted again. I can't. I just can't face that again.

Jen

X

"I feel so…" muttered James.

"I just wish she had told me about this," Lily sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Harry's probably awakening."

"Only you would say that Miss Evans," smirked James, smiling into her hair.

"Yes, and only you, Mr. Potter, could distract me from my own life," she smiled, getting up to go check on their child. James smiled contentedly before following her out of the room.

"We'll finish after he goes to bed," he muttered to himself.

x

**_A/N: IMPORTANT! I'm so sorry for not updating before this! I also don't own HP. And to all those lovely people who are reading this, thank you so much, and if you liked it and have time, would you please be kind enough to leave a review and make an author smile? (This should become a thing...) For those of you not following (as in you didn't push the little button signing you up to get an email when I update) and for those of you who love this, I think, since I am nearing the end of my buffer, I will update on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I'm guessing this should be done by Christmas, though I'm not certain. And if I don't update on either of those days, feel free to send me an angry message and I will post two chapters the following day. Love, Eluse. (And I apologize for the ginormous note)_**


	16. Lily's Birthday

"Are you sure he's asleep?" asked Lily for the sixtieth time.

"Positive, just deal with it okay, Lils?"

"Fine," she muttered, opening the journal back up. "Where were we?"

"January 28," he answered, flipping to the page and reading over his wife's shoulder.

X

January 28, 1974

Yea, sorry.

But it's two days before Lily's birthday and all I can think about is myself. The dreams and what is happening to us and everything and with this guy named Voldemort and these Death Eaters, I don't know what I could possibly do to make this better, but I have to try.

Wow that was really bad grammar according to Lily.

Anyway, Lily asked me, if for her birthday present she could read my journal. I told her under no circumstances. But…

I don't know if she is going to try and break into my box and get it out.

She probably will.

She's always been too headstrong for her own good.

Jen

LATER

I just had a dream, and I have no idea if it is truly still the 28th, but it needs to be written down.

So I was sitting in the great hall during O.W.L.s when a boy who looked exactly like James popped up from nowhere next to Snape and then began to walk around. I was sitting in front of Sirius and I was able to see Harry moving around, looking amazed at the whole thing and then when Flitwick called time, we all rushed out, Harry following James and the gang.

Something told me to hang back, when Lily went to Snape's defense. But I did look back and watch Harry take it all in before an older version of Snape appeared and took Harry away.

And then my dream faded into mists.

What is happening to me?

Jen

X

January 30, 1974

So, Lily's birthday.

Well, I can say that it was pretty amazing. Completely amazing. For one thing, Emma decided that the common room should be turned into a sparkle fest, even though Lily doesn't really like that kind of thing, and then when she said, "SPARKLES?" the entire room filled with sparkles would turn into a forest covered in Lilies. Or so she thought.

Mostly everything just turned into goo and covered everyone and everything in green, horrible awful goo, and Lily practically almost tore our heads off. So I naturally pointed at Emma, who was cowering behind Thalia Jentz, that seventh year, feeling sorry for us, decided to take it upon herself to clean up the mess and produce Lilies in place of the sparkles.

Then Lina decided that it would be a good idea to send the first years down to the kitchens to get a list of food. They didn't turn up for at least four hours and even then they didn't have any food and Lina had to storm off and return in twenty minutes, a huge pile of food hovering behind her. It was quite funny.

And then I decided to give Lily a James-free day. Which I started this morning by putting a sticking charm on James's bed the night before and it took him a good half of the morning to get out, at which time we were on break just before double Divination which was when he stumbled out of his room followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter. With Remus, who was scolding him about not leaving the door open, Sirius, who was rubbing his new short hair cut and staring at it longingly, Peter, who was trailing behind them, picking at his robe's sleeve and humming to himself, and James who was rubbing his backside, frowning heavily.

I then offered James some food, which he ate quickly and then Sirius asked me if I had any sweets. So I dug around in my pocket, thankful that I had put some of the Sleep-Candies in my pocket that morning if the opportunity to knock him out ever came around. I quickly gave it to James, who immediately snarfed it down and smirked at Sirius who was whining about how I had just given James food and then SWEETS! But then James started to have a sort of dizzy look on his face and then fell onto the couch, sound asleep.

And then, under the excuse of having to get to Divination on time, I ran out of the room and hid for the last five minutes that I should have used to get to class, but didn't.

Mopsus was angry when I showed up late and then told me that I would have to clean the dungeons with Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James, who had all decided not to show up to class.

Great.

And guess how to clean the dungeons.

Without magic.

Fun.

Jen

X

January 31, 1974

Hullo again dear friend.

I had a fine time today Transfiguration laughing at Sirius who was cracking jokes about Professor McGonagall's cat animagus form all hour. To which she was not amused.

She gave him yet more detention and then completely blew up and dismissed the class, almost red in the face.

Love,

Jen

LATER:

I just had the strangest dream.

Harry was in a maze in the Quidditch field and then he found a cup with this very cute boy and then vanished into thin air. Hermione, who was actually almost good-looking, clutched at Ron as the hedges grew shorter and shorter, revealing two other people, a blonde girl who was white-faced, and a tall, rough dark looking boy who looked as frightened as a "man" could be. For an hour or so, I think they waited and then all of the sudden Harry appeared holding the cute boy screaming, crying and muttering two words.

_"He's back."_

Then of course, I woke up, my fists clenched in my sheets and my entire body covered in a cold sweat, panting like a dog.

I think I almost woke up Emma.

I need to sleep.

Jen

X

"You know, I'm really starting to worry about Harry here," muttered James. "By the sounds of it, he faces Voldemort pretty frequently or something along those lines."

"I hope that someone takes good care of him," Lily whispered before beginning to read the next entry.

X

_**A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating on Wednesday. I kinda forgot, and I swear it won't happen again! Happy birthday to whoever is reading this! Please review and remember that I do not in fact own Harry Potter. Thank You very much for reading. Yours-Eluse**_

_**And to the reviewer Kaitlyn, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING And to everyone who has alterted/followed/favorited this, IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. LITTERALLY and the reason why I haven't said this yet was because my email was being stupid and sent it all to spam. **_


	17. The Hospital

February 4, 1974

Today in class Professor Kettleburn (I had Care of Magical Creatures first thing this morning) took us to the Black Lake where he insisted that by the end of the hour we collected a set amount of seaweed before we would be let go. Though what we needed seaweed for, nobody knew.

I naturally hug around Emma and Lily, who had both taken the class with me, Lina had taken Ancient Studies instead. We had managed to collect enough seaweed for one of us and were debating which one of us should go, when I suddenly fell to the ground and knowing exactly what was going on, everything faded into black.

_"There isn't much time left Jen!" shouted a man's voice I recognized as Sirius's. _

_"I don't care! What about Lily, and James, I've told you, they need to be safe!"_

_"Yes, I know, I've got everything under control, trust me Jen."_

_"The trouble is that I can't know if I can anymore, trust anyone," the older me muttered, hugging herself and moving closer to the fire that was for some reason lit. "I know I can't stay here, but where can I go? They forced me out of America, Japan, Russia…"_

_"Have you tried France?"_

_"France is almost worse than England with Voldemort's reign," I answered bitterly._

_"Then stay here then, stay home Jenica."_

_"You know why I can't do that..."_

And then everything faded into black.

And then I had another dream.

_An older version of Sirius and of me were huddled underneath a bridge, seemingly watching the water. "When is she going to show up?" he muttered, combing through his hair roughly. _

_"Relax, maybe she got the wrong bridge?"_

_"Are you kidding? Are we talking about the same Victoria Highland here? The one from France, the one who only eats things made from France? The only one extraordinaire witch in all of southern France?" Sirius's face was a mask of horror and humor. _

_"Yes, we are."_

_"I still don't get why you're going to France…"_

Who the hell is Victoria Highland and why were we meeting her under a bridge?

Anyway, so I woke up an hour or so ago in the hospital wing with Emma, Lily, Lina, James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter all huddled around my bed. Peter and Remus behind James looking a little uncomfortable, and all three of them along with Sirius were on the right side of the bed and my friends on the left.

The guys gradually went to classes, of which I had missed a good portion of, though Emma laughed when I asked if I had missed lunch. I had.

Jen

Later:

I am apparently confined to the hospital wing until Madam Pomfrey lets me out, which I predict will not be soon as she seems to enjoy having people in the infirmary as that is the ONLY time anyone cares to visit her.

Merlin, I would hate to be a Healer.

Jen

Later:

Lily came by after classes were out. Apparently, while I was sleeping, Poppy made her go to classes like a "civilized person", even though Lily could probably skip half of the classes and still pass all her classes with flying colors and the teachers wouldn't bat an eye.

Well, that is what Sirius and James do, but they aren't girls and they aren't cute in any way.

Except Sirius.

Wait, did I just honestly write that.

Crap, here comes Poppy.

Je

Later:

Poppy only gave me half a cup of some sort of green soup thing that she insisted would help my "dreams and nightmares". Honestly, I think she's taking the whole thing out of proportion, mostly because it's only nightmares and I've dealt with them for two years or so and I'M PERFECTLY FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Later:

I think I'm going slowly mad in here, even though it's been less than 24 hours. And I've gone as mad as I possibly could I think. Wait, or was I already mad?

Emma dropped by a few minutes ago to say that she was sorry for even bringing me to the hospital wing, but that was what Professor Kettleburn had told her to do, and she couldn't just "jolly well just ignore the teacher to his face". She told me that if she could do something to get me out of the hospital, she'd do it. Which was kind of nice, but then she added that she wouldn't because she didn't know if I was actually sick or anything, which was complete bullshit.

Sorry, I'm tired here, I can't go to sleep because I'm afraid of the nightmares that might come and that Madam Pomfrey might see them and know what's going on and then tell McGonagall and then tell Dumbledore and then get me locked up in St. Mungo's. All alone in a white padded room.

Sadly,

Jen

Later:

It's almost midnight, Poppy gave a sleeping potion a few hours ago to drink, I didn't. I dumped it on some poor plant next to my bed. Mostly because I'm afraid of what will happen if I take another sleeping potion and I get addicted again.

And I can't jolly well tell her that.

Anyway, Pitch came and visited me just now, she's curled up at the foot of my bed. Pitch is my cat, my lovely warm cat.

I got her at Christmas from Mum and Dad, and she's beautiful. I don't think she likes the fact that I leave her for a good part of the day. She was only a kitten for a while and at some points I think Lina was about ready to chuck her out the window when she crawled up Lina's curtain hangings and almost ruined her favorite picture of Needle-Nose Nick, a famous Quidditch player she'd met last summer.

She's far too young for him.

Anyway, I'm pretty much just waiting for the sun to rise. Maybe I could sneak out of the hospital wing!

Love,

Jen

Later:

It didn't work. Dear old Poppy put up wards around the doors, blocking me from leaving. I guess she knows me too well. I've tried to escape before.

Burdge.

I'm bored.

I should sleep. Good night Pitch. (Whose full name is Pitch Black, her fur is gray, and I couldn't care less.)

Love,

Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter

X

_**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, and just a warning, but the next few chapters will be a little longer, this comes from the time when I moved and had no internet for a week. None. Other than a crappy McDonald's wifi. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!**_


	18. Day Number One

February 5, 1974

Just kill me already okay? Poppy isn't letting me out of here until tomorrow night, at dinner time. I'm going to DIE of boredom. She told me that she told Lily to get my books so I at least won't fall behind in classes. But still. It's not like I actually care about any of it. I would still pass with flying colors.

Luckily, Lily accidentally brought down my book of, _Fabulous Spells for the Home Wizard, _which basically tells a person how to trick people into thinking that they are following directions/listening and/or eating when told to.

And it also happens to be where I hid my stash of peanuts and a few bottles of the Snape's Potion.

Honestly, I have no idea why I put the peanuts in there, but I sure am glad I did at this point because it is the most I've eaten in ages.

Can I just hope that Madam Pomfrey doesn't somehow discover what I've eaten by ex-spelling my stomach or something crazy like that.

Or maybe Lily put the peanuts in there and just didn't notice the bottles.

Eh, it's a theory.

A very bad one, but it's a theory.

Love,

Jenica Potter

Later:

This is complete barminess if you asked me. I'm reading the dictionary. Me, reading the DICTIONARY. Tell me there's something wrong with that, because there IS. Except you don't need to tell me that, because I already knew it and am completely bored by words like "autohagiographer" or "basorexia". Which, mind you, I never actually wanted to know what they meant.

Believe me, I didn't think they were actual words either. Mostly because I was trying to think of the dictionary in a not so sane way, or safe way, I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

Later:

Madam Pomfrey told me I cannot "write with as much passion as I just did".

Blubbernuts. Spicklesticks. Broomsticks.

I've been reading too much of the DICTIONARY. Mostly because I'm singing a song in my head. About Dictionaries.

Please, put me out of my misery!

Later:

I undoubtedly will write later, but as it seems very pressing, I must write it down.

_I again was in the presence of Sirius Black. _

_"Jen, I'm telling you, stop with this, I'm going to save the world crap!" he shouted, his face angry. _

_"I have to! I know what's going to happen!" I shouted back, my fists clenched at my sides. _

_"You'll get yourself killed!"_

_"If it will save the world, so what? Who cares?"_

_"I DO!" he shouted. _

_I paused, my breath catching in my throat. "I can't believe that. If I do, I won't ever be able to leave."I murmured, turning away from him. _

_"But why? Jen, I—" He broke off, his face white. "Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing at all," he muttered darkly. _

And then at that moment, Poppy decided to say, "I'm sure Jenica will wake up soon. She needs her sleep."

At which point I would have been quite happy to hit her over the head with something heavy, and preferably quite large. It was James and Sirius who decided to join me. Though I thought she wasn't supposed to wake up people in the hospital wing. Though she didn't actually mean to wake me up.

They looked at me funny until Poppy had walked away and then as they sat down Sirius asked me, "Why were you muttering my name?"

Oh Merlin, it happened again. That was the only thing that crossed my mind as I stared at Sirius.

Oh Merlin, just kill me already.

Later:

Sirius dropped by again after lunch without James. He said that he was skipping Defense Against the Dark Arts.

I told him that he was insane for skipping his favorite class other than Quidditch. And then he continued to say that, it was worth it to see me.

Madam Pomfrey wasn't too pleased with the appearance of Sirius, but then he produced a note saying, that Professor Monsieur Burnheart had given his consent for Sirius to be skipping class to see me.

She was flabbergasted to say the least. (New word, quite interesting if you ask me)

And then I of course wanted an explanation because M. Burnheart never gave just anyone a slip to leave class. And he hated Sirius.

He said simply, "I told him my girl friend was in the hospital wing and it was killing me to stay away."

I don't think M. Burnheart would agree to that, so I voiced my opinion. To which Sirius replied, "Anyone can be confused, can't they Potter?"

I just about blew his head off at that moment.

Merlin knows what held me back. Though I think it had something to do with the fact that Madam Pomfrey had spelled me to the hospital bed, as she knew I would probably try and kill him or someone else if they didn't let me out soon.

Honestly, does that woman not trust me at all?

It's just after the third class after lunch now, there are four in case you forgot (That is an awful sentence). Sirius stayed for most of the two hours before he stood up saying, "Binns will kill me."

I frowned at that and then replied, "He never takes attendance, stay a while longer, please."

"I can't believe that I just heard Jenica Hayley—" I knew he was going to start listing all of my middle names that he thinks I have

**THEY EXSIST! HER REAL NAME IS: Jenica Hayley Hailyana Rebecca Rachel Marie Rosemary Rapunzel Lily Magenta Jillian Amanda Alyssa Sarah Emma Diane Potter. DON'T BELIEVE HER WHEN SHE SA**

He was still around as you probably gathered. He got annoyed at the fact that I was writing while he read a story, or told one, one of the two. Anyway, I got him kicked out of the Hospital Wing. More or less. He had to go sit two beds away from me for ten minutes. These will be the best ten minutes of my life.

Anyway, as I was saying.

"It's the meds," I replied quickly. "Poppy gave me a lot of potions and spelled me up."

"What are meds?" he asked

"I dunno. Lily's used the word before in the hospital and it's fun to say."

Anyway, bye the ten minutes are up.

Jen

Later:

I don't think Sirius is going to leave quite honestly….

I seem to be obsessed with the word honestly…

Jen

Later:

Pomfrey just kicked Sirius out saying, "SHE MIGHT BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AND YOUR BEST FRIEND'S SISTER BUT I DON'T SEE HIM HANGING AROUND ALL THE TIME. GO TO CLASS TOMORROW! GO EAT SOMETHING! IT WILL ONLY HURT HER MORE IF YOU GET SICK AND DIE."

I think I heard Sirius mutter something along the lines of, "She'd just laugh."

Then Poppy came over to my bed to check on me and said quietly, "Be careful with that one, dear. He won't be easy to get rid of, but he also won't be easy to keep."

"We aren't dating," was my only reply and she just looked at me with this awful smile on her face like she was sorry for me. She gave me a sleeping potion, putting on the bedside. (Which I dumped out when she had left)

Then she turned away saying, "You can write about him in your journal all you want, but don't stay up too late. I knew someone like that when I was your age. He nearly killed me," she smiled sadly before going into her office and turning off the light after some bustling around.

I hate Sirius Black.

I hate Sirius Orion Black with all of my heart. From the tip of my head to the bottom of my toes.

Love,

Jenica Potter

Later:

It's about midnight. Again. Honestly, I'm too freaked out to sleep. You wanna know why? Because I drifted off for a little while and when I woke up, there was a boy sleeping on the bed beside me.

Sirius is just taking this whole thing to a creeper level.

Though he does look cute when he sleeps.

Jen

_**A/N: Oooo Sirius is in the Hospital Wing with Jenny...I hope you have a wonderful Saturday/Sunday/Friday?/Whateverday it is. **_

_**Oh and to the guest who reviewed last chapter, thank you so much! And the rest of you, THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING AND PLEASE, if you have time, REVIEW! Thank you lovelies. **_


	19. Day Number Two

February 6, 1974

Sirius, James, Emma, and Lily came to see me this morning. Lily told me that she couldn't wait to see me well again, and if I ever felt faint again to tell her. Emma said she was sorry, again. James told me to get better soon, the Quidditch team was suffering from my one practice absence.

"Sirius doesn't play so well without you," he added under his breath, his eyes searching mine for some confirmation that Sirius and I were stepping out. I would have hit him over the head had it not been for the fact that Madam Pomfrey came over yelling, "GET TO CLASS."

To which Sirius explained that since they had had Astronomy last night, they had that class hour off, so they were in perfect liberty to stay in the hospital wing for as long as they want, if I wanted it of course. Well at least until their second hour class started.

I would have said no, except for the fact that Lily shot me a glare clearly telling me to shut up. So I said yes and then Poppy went away slowly, glaring at them after giving me some more of that green stuff.

We talked for awhile and when the others went off to class, Sirius hung back, his eyes looked as though he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Just before Madam Pomfrey was going to rush him out he said, "I'm going" and handed me a folded piece of parchment.

Jen

X

Lily stared at James, before James hurriedly pulled the small box towards him. "Look for Sirius's writing," she said, looking in the box along with her husband.

"I know that much Lily. I also was the top of the—here it is," he pulled out a worn piece of parchment, as if it had been carried around in a pocket for several months before being placed in the box.

"Read it!" Lily said quickly, her hands itching to take the parchment.

"_Dear Jenica Hayley_….what the heck, what are all these names?" James asked, his eye brows reaching his brow.

"His stupid names for her, just skip them. Weren't you listening?" James shot an irritated glare, barely masking laughter, at his wife before looking back at the parchment in his hands.

"_…Potter, I dunno why I wrote this and didn't say this out loud to you, but I slept really well last night and I know you don't really care, because you probably didn't even know that I slept there last night and…sorry this sounds really creepy. I really don't know why I did. Just, please Jen, for me, don't die, okay?_

_"This sounds stupid and all, and I know you aren't anywhere near close to death, but it feels good to give you this. Don't ask me about this, okay? It'll just be weird. Sirius."_

"What the…" muttered Lily.

"Did Jen not mention something…" muttered James, the piece of parchment dropping from his hands. "She didn't…not then…"

"I don't think she did. She would have mentioned it to me."

"He was her worst enemy though."

"You don't understand teenage girls."

"I just plain don't understand the female race, Lily."

"That much I knew."

X

Later:

I fell asleep for a few hours and just woke up a few minutes ago. This was my dream, and believe me, I don't know anything about it, any more than you do.

_I was staring at James, that was the only thought in my mind. James Harold Potter, back from the dead in his son. I almost caught myself calling him that before I said, "Don't put that away, idiot boy! What if there are more of them around? Oh, I'm going to _kill _Mundungus Fletcher!"_

_"What?"_

_"He left! Left to see someone about a batch of cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I'd flay him alive if he went, and now look! Dementors! It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case! But we haven't got time to stand around! Hurry, now, we've got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going to cause! I will _kill _him!"_

_"But—You're—you're a witch!?"_

_"I'm a Squib, as Mundungus knows full well, so how on earth was I supposed to help you fight off dementors? He left you completely without cover when I _warned _him—"_

The dream continued but I'm too freaked out to continue. The boy, Harry, called me Mrs. Figg later. And I'm freaking out about the fact that I lied to him saying I was a Squib. Why would I do that?

There isn't a way to turn a witch into a Muggle.

At least, I don't think there is.

Jen

Later:

Later:

I spent the whole day looking up spells and trying to perfect them. Madam Pomfrey didn't look to happy when she came over to give me more of that green stuff when she discovered that her favorite plant had been turned into a pelican that was gawking at a nearby first year who had come in with a friend with a bloody nose. The first year was freaked out when I turned it back into a plant once Madam Pomfrey had gone to get her wand, which was in her office.

He asked me, "Will I know that in my third year?"

I smiled, "Only if you're like me, which I most sincerely hope you aren't."

"Do you spend all your time in the Hospital Wing?" he asked.

"No, I just merely have too many nights to fill with nothing but school work, and yes, I've been here for a while, so I've had lots of time."

I think he went away wanting to get hurt so he could come back and learn to be like me.

Madam Pomfrey then made me put away my spell books for the day and read something, "A little less disturbing."

So I took out my book on knives (which was really just my copy of _Plants, Potions and Perilous Plains _enchanted to look like a book about knives. Though it would be fun to read such a book) and read it as a second year stared at me as she was waited for her friend who had fallen off his broom in Flying class and thus received a broken arm. She asked me if I was a serial killer to which I only replied with a wicked grin and reaching into my bag at my feet, where I made a knife appear with a subtle flick of my wand.

Needless to say she ran out screaming, forgetting about her friend, who was sent back to class and to hopefully, "find Miss Park if she was done screaming."

I was forced to stop reading any Wizarding book then and take up the less threatening sport of reading a Muggle book that Lily had brought in, _Pride and Prejudice _by Jane Austen. Which I also managed to freak out some little first years who had come in after lunch with stomach aches by reading aloud a part of it in a very thick accent and waving around my arms like a mad woman.

I think Madam Pomfrey was thoroughly fed up with me by that time and simply said to the first years, "SHE'S GONE MAD!" I think they agreed with her and when they left she turned on me saying, "I'll bring back Sirius Black if it'll keep you on your feet and not disrupting my Hospital Wing."

"I could do that just as easily if you'd let me out," I replied.

To which she said, "I CANNOT DO THAT, because you have not told me what is wrong with you, why you keep blacking out, and you still have not slept at night!"

She then turned away and stomped moodily into her office at the end of the hall.

I think I struck a wire, don't you?

Anyway, I guess she's going to pull Sirius out of classes tomorrow, because…I dunno why she thinks that I like him and he likes me. We obviously hate each other's guts.

But are concerned if those guts are wounded.

Love,

Jen

Lily dropped by again before dinner, expecting me to be let out.

Needless to say, I wasn't.

Madam Pomfrey must have known that I hadn't taken the sleeping potion because when Lily left she asked me quite severely, "Why didn't you drink the sleeping potion last night?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just let the darkness that I had been holding back roll over my eyes, bringing yet another dream.

_This time I was standing in an ornate room that was looking out over a city street and from the words written on the signs, I could tell it was France. _

_I turned around as a person came in. It was a blonde, with slivery blue eyes, perfect make-up and a beautiful set of robes that seemed to flatter her body, unlike most robes. She walked with an elegance that I knew I could never achieve. _

_"Victoria?" the older me asked. "What is it?"_

_"Nothing's happening, that's what worrying me," her accent distinctly French. _

_"That's exactly what I want," I answered, turning back to the view. _

_I heard her take a deep breath before saying in pretty rapid English, "Why are you hiding from everyone. From the Light, from the Dark? What is the point?"_

_I paused. "I can't tell you that. I can't tell anyone that."_

_"James must know. Your brother. And Sirius has to know also, why else would he come with you to the bridge?"_

_"James doesn't know," I answered stiffly. "And Sirius found out by mistake."_

_"Certainly Dumbledore knows."_

_"I'm not sure Dumbledore counts as just anyone, Victoria. He's on his own level, which I think freaks him out a bit."_

_"You're on that level too, you know, by most peoples' standards."_

_"I don't want to be. I'm just a normal girl."_

_"Normal you say and yet you're hiding from _Mort _and the Order and The Dark Lord."_

_"I'm not hiding from Death, I'm merely biding my time meeting him."_

_"What about the Order? If they want to find you, they always find you, look at me."_

_"It's different though, they know that I'm with them."_

_"And I'm not?" she asked, her accent ringing around the room. I winced. "And what about all those places you couldn't go to. America, Japan, Germany, Russia?"_

_"I loved Germany," I muttered quietly before continuing to answer her question. "That wasn't running from the Order. That was not running from Death, or Mort as you call him here. That was running from the spread of the Death Eater ideals. America has their own branch of Death Eaters, and so does East Asia. Africa is out of the question to go to, because they're so far go into the ideals."_

_"France is worse than anywhere else in Europe, besides England," Victoria stated. "So why did you come here."_

_"Because it's the obvious thing not to do if you don't want to die or get caught."_

_"So what are you going to do next?" _

_I looked at her quickly, opening my mouth to reply when,_

Then Poppy woke me up, telling me that I needed to eat more of that green stuff and actually take the sleeping potion.

So I ate the green stuff and gulped down the sleeping potion, but of course it didn't knock me out, so I just sat there, staring up at her while she looked down at me. Waiting for me to fall down knocked out before I put the cup down.

When I didn't, and the cup had made is safely to the bedside table, she raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you aren't telling me? That could have put Hagrid out in two seconds."

_Shit, _was all that crossed my mind.

So I told her that I had found out last summer that Sleeping Potions don't affect me in small quantities. To which she replied, "As I said, that could put Hagrid out in two seconds."

"It still counts as a small quantity," I answered sharply.

She frowned, not looking satisfied, and answered, "I'm going to tell Dumbledore. He has to know about this. Mind the Hospital Wing while I'm gone, will you. I know you've been paying attention."

She then proceeded to march out of the Hospital Wing, her white and red robes flying out behind her.

I've then been writing for the last twenty minutes, waiting for her to return with Dumbledore. But what am I going to tell him?

I guess there's only one option. Make sure Poppy's out of the room, and then tell him everything.

Jen

Though I really hope he doesn't kill me for it. Or lock me up in a padded room in St. Mugo's.

Later:

I told him most of it. I couldn't tell him about what the dreams were, but I just told him that I was dreaming of the future, but I never remembered what happened. Then I told him that I tried to douse it out with sleeping potions, and that I only got off of that because of a potion that Severus Snape made up for me.

When I finished my tale, his eye brows had established themselves in his hair line, and I think they weren't going to come down for awhile.

"So, Miss Potter, you are telling me that a third year made up a potion for you to get off of your addiction?"

I nodded. Believe me, I was surprised it worked too. After that he went away to tell Poppy that I didn't, and shouldn't be given a sleeping potion and to make sure that I wasn't allowed near the stuff while I was in the hospital wing.

When he came back he smiled at me, winked and left the room, leaving me with Poppy, who stayed in her office until a new patient came in. And honestly, I don't think that her mind was fully on it.

Later:

Madam Pomfrey came out and told me that she wasn't going to stun me if I agreed to behave myself the next day. I promised but then asked her if she was really going to pull Sirius out of classes.

"YES," was her only reply and she marched back into her office, only to return a moment later to force me to eat the green stuff.

Which tastes awful if you were wondering.

Jen

**_A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, I do own however my insane brain that keeps me up half the night. ARGH. Please review. IT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED. PLEASE ANYTHING WILL DO. If you don't have time though, I understand. _**


	20. Day Number Three

February 7, 1974

Lily came before breakfast, waking me up at the insane hour of eight o' clock in the morning, bringing me paints, a few more books, some pens, paper, and a stack of well hidden cookies, several notes from various people in the Gryffindor Tower and candy. Sirius, James, Lina, Emma, Peter, and Remus came half an hour until 9, when classes started, bringing some toast and their bags to visit me before classes.

We all chatted until Pomfrey shooed everyone out of the room, giving Lily a note to give to all of Sirius's teachers explaining where he was and why he needed to be there.

Madam Pomfrey then took away the candy, saying that I could have it back when I told her why I thought I was blacking out, what was wrong with me and why I wasn't sleeping. To which Sirius looked alarmed and then proceeded to ask, "Why the hell am I here?"

"Language Black," replied Poppy. "And you're here because otherwise I will go mad from overexposure to that girl!"

"Then why is she still here?"

"Because she still isn't better!"

"THEN I'M GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN THE HOSPITAL WING AREN'T I?" I yelled, jerking both of the attentions back to me. I then added, quite wittily if I must say, "Anyway, aren't you the person who's supposed to be able to whip out their wand and tell me these things?"

She then said, "I can't do that, I don't know what tests to run. I've never seen a case like yours. I need to observe you. And all I've observed so far is that you're quite mad and just want to get out of here."

"You've got that right," was my only reply and she left that green stuff and went away to tend to an already hurt first year, who somehow got hurt in History of Magic.

Love,

Jen

Later:

Sirius was forced to leave for lunch, and so far, today, I haven't caused much of a ruckus. Madam Pomfrey actually let me off my bed for a good two hours midmorning, when she had so many patients from the first year class of Defense Against the Dark Arts. When asked what they were studying they all replied quite happily, "Pixies that hit you if you try and get them in their cages!" I could tell Madam Pomfrey was going to go mad as she worked her way down the line, so I called out to her, "I can entertain them."

She didn't even really blink as she shot the unbinding spell on me and I sat down on the end of my bed and gathered the first years around, so she could get to them all easily and still keep an eye on me. Sirius sat on the bed next to me, his silver eyes never leaving my face and hair.

Before I had even started one of them asked, he was a little thing with unruly black hair and a very bloody nose as well as a few scratches that decorated his cheeks, "Why were you spelled to the bed?"

I laughed, answering, "Because I am secretly a vampire, and I was holding she was holding me back from biting my friend here, Sirius."

"Is he very serious?" asked one of the girls, a pretty one with brown hair.

"Oh heavens no," I answered, smiling.

"Are you two friends?" shouted a young red haired boy.

"Yes," cut in Sirius, joining me on my bed and throwing an arm around me. "We're really good friends, that's why she suffers from problems concerning her fangs and my lovely neck." He made a gesture, showing off his tanish neck.

"Aren't you two the beaters on the Quidditch team?" asked one of the taller first years, a boy with golden hair and eyes. "And you play during the day. I thought vampires weren't supposed to be able to go out in day light." Madam Pomfrey was smiling as she fixed up one of the many students. I could tell she was taking her time, knowing that I could probably, by this time, after reading the Defense Against the Dark Arts books three times already, within the time of me being in the Hospital Wing, could probably deliver a safer lesson than what they had all come from.

"See, that's where the stories are true, except, I'm special," I said, grabbing my wand and pointing it at the flower pot next to my bed. "Vampires don't use magic, but I can." The pot turned into a pelican and started gawking at the first years. The boy who had come in yesterday with his friend smiled and poked at his friend and pointed at the pelican.

"I thought they weren't able to go in the sun," repeated the blonde boy, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Oh that's where she gets really clever," said Sirius, his face becoming animated. "She puts this spell on herself, and she knows this stuff because she's like a bajillion years old."

The first years eyes were wide. I frowned, overacting.

"I'm not a _bajillion _years old. You don't give away a lady's age."

"You hardly count as a Lady," he answered, turning fully towards me and grinning that lopsided grin of his.

"I think I do. You must know that I am in fact, _the _Lady Helga who helped the founders establish the school," I retorted, crossing my arms, knowing fully well that Lady Helga had lived in the 7th century, not the 6th, when Hogwarts was roughly built. But no one pays attention in History of Magic, and Binns only mentions it once in second year when he covers the beginning of Hogwarts.

"I did know that," he retorted, still smirking. "But if anyone has seen how well you prank, they would know that that is only a title."

I narrowed my eyes, "Do you know how much I want to bite you?" I asked, twitching my wand and enlarging my canines, and turning my eyes red. (As I said, I've had too many nights without sleep and too long in the Hospital Wing, doing nothing, and summer is great time to get caught up on spells. I also admit to slightly muttering spells under my breath, but I'm getting to nonverbal, just you wait.)

For a second he looked actually freaked out and his eyes seemed to say, 'I didn't know you were a real vampire, and oh Merlin I hope you're just really good at magic.'

The first years didn't seem to be breathing as Madam Pomfrey made her way through them, having gotten about halfway through the twenty that were there.

Sirius looked into my eyes for a second before I blinked, willing myself to go closer to him and, so he was in front of me and the small class of first years could see perfectly well, I latched my mouth onto his neck, my eyes wide open, so I could watch the reaction of the first years.

I heard Sirius moan softly, and knew somehow that his eyes were closed. When just at that moment, the bell rung, marking the end of the last class before lunch.

Madam Pomfrey straightened, having finished and walked briskly over to the two of us and pulled me off of Sirius, staring at the two of us with as much wonder as the first years.

"You can leave now, all of you. Sirius, stay here, I need to look at those bite marks…" she trailed off, keeping one hand on my shoulder and using the other to shoo the first years out of the Hospital Wing. I made a 'vampire' face at them as they left, and it helped to get them out of the Hospital Wing.

When they were gone she released me, scowling. "What were you thinking Jenica? Now there will be a rumor that we have a vampire in the school."

"But I'm a nice vampire," I said.

"That just bit her friend," she pointed out, pointing at Sirius who was absent-mindedly rubbing his neck, where there were two indents and a bit of blood oozing out of them. He was staring into space, slightly smiling. (I hadn't actually drunk the blood, just in case you forgot. That would be gross and totally stupid.)

"I didn't mind," Sirius said dreamily.

"Did you jinx him too?" she asked in wonder, pointing her wand at Sirius's neck, healing the wounds and shooing him off the bed and putting me back. "Merlin Jenica…"

Sirius seemed to have been knocked back into reality since he said, "I told you, she's a killer pranker." Before Poppy made him go down to the Great Hall to eat lunch.

She muttered to me before giving me more of that green stuff, "And you said he wasn't your boyfriend."

I have no idea what she's talking about. But in all honesty I don't care. He was just helping me with entertaining the first years.

Jen

Later:

Sirius came back after lunch and we decided to read some of the cards that Lily had brought that morning. I've included them in here.

_Jen-_

_I hope you get well soon, the team is really suffering. Please don't stay in there too long,_

_Love,_

_Olivia Patil_

_Jenica Potter-_

_You're really funny. You should get well soon._

_-Peter Van Godson_

Who the heck is he?

_Jen-_

_I REALLY WANT YOU TO GET BETTER SOON, OKAY? YOU MUST OBEY MY ORDERS._

_-Alice F_

_Jenica,_

_My dear friend, even though you may be on the threshold of death, you are not permitted to pass through that doorway. _

_-Emma_

_P.S. I might have accidentally told Sirius that you were going to die. It was funny to watch, come on._

_Jen-_

_Get better soon for the match. We're still going to win, but I can't feel good about beating Gryffindor without their best beater ever! Get better soon! You've only got until Saturday!_

_Love your buddy from History of Magic and the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team,_

_Genève Wang_

_Jenny-_

_You know you want to get better quickly, so I'm just not going to say anything, got it?_

_-TB _

_(Taylor Bell)_

It proved quiet interesting, and we managed to eat some of the cookies without Madam Pomfrey noticing, but she kept glancing over at us as if she expected us to start snogging in the middle of the whole place.

Around break time for the class after lunch, a few second years came in, carrying in some frozen friends from Herbology.

"What happened to them?" asked Poppy, throwing her hands up. "Don't tell me, Professor Burnheart!"

The tallest one, a girl with brown hair shook her head. "No, Herbology. They didn't put their earmuffs on right."

Sirius leaned over the Muggle chess board that Lily had gotten me last Christmas and said, "Mandrakes," smirking.

"You fainted too, you know," I retorted, going red at the fact that I had fainted in that class.

So when the conscious ones had put the unconscious ones onto some beds on the opposite side of the Hospital Wing they came over to where Sirius and I were playing chess. The brown haired girl who had spoken before said, "Is it true what the first years are saying? That you're a vampire?"

I looked over at Sirius, who was grinning, before the girl turned to him, "And that she bit you?"

He grinned even broader. "Yup," he leaned back, moving his knight to kill a pawn of mine.

The girl turned to me. I nodded, picking up my wand from my bedside and pointing it at Sirius, muttering a word and making him burst out in hives, because he had just ruined my master plan at winning.

He swore loudly before fumbling around in his bag for his wand.

That made the second years laugh.

"Are you really a vampire?" asked one of the other second years. I flicked my wand again, making my eyes red and my canines grow. I smiled up at them.

"Hello, and welcome to Transylvania!" I then laughed evilly. None of them laughed. I guess they hadn't read Dracula. (Which I have, thanks to Lily bringing that book down to me two days ago)

They all just took a step back.

"Are you going to bite us?" another asked, her voice shaking.

I shook my head, about to reply, but Sirius answered before I could, "No, she only feeds off me. She dislikes everyone else's blood."

Madam Pomfrey, upon hearing this marched over, putting herself between us and the second years.

"That's enough, you two," she said sternly. "You lot, I'm sorry to say, you'll just have to wait for them to wake up, you can go back to class." The group of second years left without a glance at their friends, but several backward glances at us.

Sirius is reading this over my shoulder, for some reason and he is a complete git. (HEY)

If you don't like what you're reading then don't read it.

Later,

Jen

Later:

Poppy made Sirius leave for dinner and when he had left, I asked her when I was going to be let out.

"I don't know, when I've figured it out," she answered, sounding tired. "But tell me, is the Zyde working?"

"What's that?"

"The green stuff I've been giving you. Is it helping?"

"Yes," I answered. It's true, it really has been helping, but the problem is, is that now there is a constant part of my brain that wants me to fall asleep and dream about the future. I didn't tell her that though, maybe she would let me out sooner then. "Is Sirius coming back tomorrow?" I asked, merely interested.

"Definitely," she answered. "You were manageable today."

I smiled slightly, before falling back on my pillows and giving into the darkness without eating.

This is what I dreamed:

_"JEN! JEN WHERE ARE YOU?" the shouts filled the air, as if a group of people were looking for me. "JENICA!" _

_I was cowering under a tree, clutching my clothes to my body, which were soaked as if I had taken a swim. There was a burst of light as a figure came into the clearing near me. It was Sirius, of course. _

_"JEN!" he cried, relieved. I didn't make a sound, I just stared at him. _

_"What happened?" he asked. A second later, Olivia came into the clearing too, closely followed by Thomas, her twin, and Alice Spinnet. The three of them stayed back, as if afraid of me. Sirius kept advancing. _

_I looked up at him before whispering. "Are you an illusion too? A Death Eater in disguise?" He shook his head, putting a hand on my shoulder, as if trying to spark a memory._

_"Jenica, what happened?" he asked again. I just stared at him before hugging him fiercely. "What's the date?" I asked all of the sudden. _

_Alice was the one who answered, "June 20th 1979."_

_I sighed, before blacking out._

Then another dream

_I woke up in a bed that was red and far too comfortable. "Jen!" cried Sirius, his hand finding mine. "What happened."_

_"Sirius, don't rush her," scolded Olivia, who was in the room too by the sound of it. _

_"I was in France, and then they burned down Victoria's house…I swam across the English Channel…I think."_

_"The Death Eaters?" asked Olivia, her face white. I knew why, somehow. It was because of Ramona McKinney, her girlfriend. _

_I nodded, my fingers clutching Sirius's, before I fell back into a darkness._

Then yet another dream

_This time around I was sitting at a low table, watching the Order meeting that was in session. The people were older. Sirius and Remus looked about thirty, and McGonagall looked so much older, even though her hair was still pulled sleekly back. _

_"What I don't get," continued Mundungus. "Is why we can't just tell the boy that Mrs. Figg is Jen, his aunt."_

_"We can't do that," I retorted, drawing all the faces towards me. "Voldemort can't know I'm alive. No one can."_

_"So you're pretendin' to be a Muggle and planin' on bein' in the Ministry of Magic?" asked Mundungus. "Won't that raise some eye brow sweets?"_

_Sirius slammed a fist onto the table. "Shut up Dung!" he shouted. Remus put a hand on his forearm, telling him to calm down and muttering something along the lines of, "She's grown up."_

_"The Ministry is stupid, no offense Kingsley. If they knew half of what they think they know, they'd know twice as much," I answered, getting some frowns and confused faces, Dung's one of those. _

_"Potter's got a point," said Moody. "She's right about younger Potter knowing about her and how that's dangerous. Voldemort's only feared Dumbledore and her, and her because she's different from everyone else. If we have her on our side…"_

_"I still don't get how you managed to make everyone forget about you," muttered Molly. "I always liked you whenever I went over to the Potters. And then I forgot they even had a daughter."_

_"She made every bloody person on the planet forget about her somehow," muttered Moody. "Except Sirius and Remus." All eyes turned towards me. And Emma, Alice, and Lina, I added in my mind. _

_"Come on, I can't explain it now, it's almost dinner and those kids of yours Molly, are listening at the door, I had Crookshanks eat those Extendable Ears of the twins, which are quiet ingenious, if you ask me." Molly hadn't. "And anyway, I've got to be going, the Muggles will wonder where I've gone."_

_"Can't you stay?" asked Sirius, standing up as I did, his eyes alert. _

_"DO YOU NEED TO DO THAT AT THE TABLE?" asked a young girl who was near Remus. "GET A ROOM."_

_Molly shot her a look before bustling away towards the stove. "Who all are staying?" she called. _

_"I would," I muttered before turning away from the commotion as they cleaned up. _

_Sirius caught my arm as I went by him to put an invisibility charm on myself. "Stay, please, for me. Just this once. We can tell Molly's children not to tell Harry about you." I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I wasn't in Mrs. Figg's clothes for once, so I looked like myself. I looked over at Molly who was watching us before she turned away, putting another few pieces of chicken on the platter for me. _

_I nodded once, sitting down beside him. Remus smiled at me quietly. "It's almost like the old times eh? You, me, and Sirius eating dinner."_

_"Except we've got a lot of company and you don't have to suffer through my cooking," I answered, smiling. Sirius grinned at me, holding my hand under the table. I was about to lean in to kiss him on the cheek when the same girl from earlier cried, "NO PDA!"_

I was then jolted awake, and I've been awake ever since. It's probably closing in on five in the morning now. I should really try to sleep.

Yours,

Jen

X

Lily forced James to put down the book saying, "It's really late, James. We need to sleep."

He groaned, but followed his wife up to their bedroom, where they fell asleep almost instantly.

X

_**End of Part II**_

_**A/N: It's still technically Saturday where I am. And sorry for updating so late, I was rather busy today. Please Review? About anything really. I don't care. Any little word is appreciated so much! If you have time of course. And as usual anything you recognize, I don't own, and it all belongs to someone out there, I dunno who. **_


	21. Day Number Four

After another day of playing with Harry, and visiting neighbors, Lily and James again retired to the sitting room, drew the mahogany box filled with Jen's memories towards them and began to read where they left off the night before.

X

February 8, 1974

Today I was awakened by Emma shouting in my ear, "GET UP, WE NEED TO SEE YOUR EYES BEFORE CLASSES START IN TEN MINUTES."

She was then told off by Madam Pomfrey, who had been letting me sleep late and get up whenever I wanted, or so she said she would if nobody woke me up or anything.

It hasn't happened yet.

So anyway, Lily, Emma, and Lina came to see me, and James and Sirius were there and then James left after saying, "Don't die on me sis, okay?" Lina said she was sorry for not showing up earlier but—Emma cut in—"She was seeing her _boyfriend, _Needle-Nose Nick," Emma said, giving him the nickname I had come up with.

Lina blushed and muttered, "It's not like he's eighteen, he's seventeen."

"AND YOU'RE THIRTEEN!" shouted Emma. Sirius, who was sitting a few beds away smirked to himself.

"I'm fourteen actually," Lina muttered. "Anyway, he went to America schools, they get out a year before us 'cause they start before us."

They went away, realizing that if they wanted to get to Transfiguration on time, they should leave. Sirius groaned about having to spend another day with me, but I shut him up with a Silencing charm.

Anyway. So I am ruddy tired of being in these scratchy Hospital pajamas all day, so I'm going to complain to Poppy.

Jen

Later:

IT'S A MIRACLE! POPPY LET ME GO GET MY OWN CLOTHES!

So I asked her and she said, since it's only to the Gryffindor Tower and back, and I needed to stretch my legs anyway, I could go, as long as Sirius went with me, even to the dorm, which, I quote, "will be fine because nobody should be there."

Except fifth and seventh year students, but I didn't point that out to her, because I WAS ALMOST FREE. Except she put a spell on me that if I strayed out of the path it would take me to get to the dorm and back, I would be sent back to the Hospital Wing, without my clothes. (Well my pajamas would still be on me, but I wouldn't be able to get my actual clothes, if you know what I mean.)

So I happily marched out of the Hospital Wing, with Sirius in tow, back to the Gryffindor tower, where some of the fifth years were sitting around, reading.

I turned to Sirius. "What are we going to do? I can't go outside of ten feet from you." That had been another spell she had put on me. The silly woman. I'm not that untrustworthy am I?

Sirius blinked, before he muttered something, pulling me along, up into the boy's dorms, attracting many stares from some of the fifth and seventh years, and some hooting and a shout of, "SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN CLASS? NOT SLEEPING AROUND?"

I flushed, but followed him upstairs and he pushed open a door to one of the dorms, the door I knew led to James's dorm that he shared with the others.

I didn't want to follow him inside, but I knew Sirius's bed was on the far side, so I'd have to, otherwise it was back to the Hospital Wing.

Anyway, Sirius went towards James's bed, rummaged through his trunk and pulled out the invisibility cloak. "I forgot about that," I muttered, turning around to leave, and go back down the stairs, this time apparently alone.

Some of the fifth years raised an eye brow saying, "Did you put him to bed?"

I stuck my tongue out at them. "Do you know who I am? Be prepared, sweetie," I said, smirking and waving as I walked up the girl's dorms stairs, not even wondering how Sirius got up until we reached my room.

"How did you get up here?" I asked, going through my trunk.

"I levitated myself," he answered. "And don't say that I don't have the right equipment to be a man."

"I wasn't going to," I retorted, pulling out a bag and filling it with a few pairs of clothes before going to my bed stand and flipping through my drawers, trying to find my favorite Muggle book ever_, A Secret Garden._

When I finally found it I turned around and was about to go down the stairs when Sirius stopped me. "Jen," he said quietly. "Are you alright?"

I stared at him. "Why wouldn't I be alright?" I asked and then sprung down the stairs, not caring if I got out of ten feet of him, I was going back to the Hospital Wing anyway.

The same fifth year shouted as I passed by, "I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID BEFORE JEN POTTER!" I just waved, my feet now carrying me back to the Hospital Wing, I couldn't have stopped if I had wanted to.

So I'm back in the Hospital Wing, waiting for Sirius to show up.

He has finally. Merlin it feels good to be in normal clothes again.

Jen

Later:

It's after lunch and Sirius has come back and some of those first years from yesterday have come back, wanting to talk to the vampire.

Madam Pomfrey told them an hour. And after that I needed to rest. I've decided to try out my new spell, that I found that translates what is heard into words. I'll go back and add things in.

Go.

"What are you doing?" one of the first years asked.

"I'm doing mysterious stuff," I replied. Sirius grinned.

Apparently I won't have to add stuff in.

Later,

Jen

Later:

When a fellow third year, Amelia Medina, a Hufflepuff came in, sporting maroon hair that trailed behind her for several feet, she told me and Sirius that the news had reached third years, finally.

"It was a shock really," she said, waving her hands around as Madam Pomfrey tried to cut her hair, but only to have it grow back. "When I first heard that you were a vampire, Jen. And Sirius, when are you going to start changing?" she asked, her expression quiet interested.

Sirius laughed and was about to answer when I cut him off, "Don't be silly Amy. I'm not really a vampire. It was a stupid lesson for the first years who had gotten a bad Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson that day. And I didn't really bite Sirius."

Amelia narrowed her eyes. "Oh come off it." She turned to Madam Pomfrey. "Sorry, I tried to cut it, then it just grew faster, I guess I should have told you. Theo Parkinson cursed me in the halls, saying my hair looked bad with the haircut I had."

"It looks fine, Amelia," said Poppy in a soothing voice, but really she was freaking out behind her, waving wildly at me, mouthing 'FIND SOMETHING' or 'DO SOMETHING' repeatedly as she tried to cut it, and keep it one length.

"What spell did he use?" I asked quickly, standing up from the chess game that Sirius and I were playing at that moment. I was winning again.

"I think it was Engorio or something?" she said it like it was a question. I nodded, quickly putting up my wand and muttering the counter spell under my breath, stopping her hair from growing anymore.

Poppy frowned before saying, "How long do you want it dear?"

"I think to my back, thanks, the middle." She then turned back to the two of us, who had returned to our game. "I've heard that the Gryffindor team is suffering from your loss Jen, and that they won't win against Ravenclaw at the match on Saturday if you aren't there. I mean, I've seen some of the practices on accident, I was visiting Hagrid, you know, and I saw how Sirius was playing, and it was like his right arm was gone or something. It was quiet funny actually, no offense Sirius—" Poppy cut her off, telling her she could go back to class, finally shutting her up.

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey, if I could list the number of times—"

"GO TO CLASS!"

She turned back to Sirius and me saying, "Merlin, that girl!" before going back into her office to wait for the next patient.

Love,

Jen

Later:

Poppy said that she might let me out tomorrow for the match if I was good for the rest of the day.

"Gryffindor needs the win," she smiled before tending to a small Slytherin second year who constantly made faces at me and Sirius until he left with his skin turned back to its normal color.

Jen

**_A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW? Or is it all getting sent to spam? I sure hope not. Anyway have a lovely Thursday/tomorrow/day! I don't own Harry Potter, yet again. _**


	22. Day Number Five

February 9, 1974

I AM FREE!

For the match, which starts in ten minutes, got to go,

Love,

Jen

Later:

We won, of course. I was a bit rusty, but all in all, I still was amazing. Lily was in the common room waiting for us after the match and boy did we have a party.

Towards the beginning Sirius stood up on a table and demanded all of the Gryffindors' attentions.

"I'd just like to say, this party is not just for the Gryffindor win—" massive screaming/cheering "—but also for the fact that Jenica Potter is back in our midst."

Just at that moment, Professor McGonagall marched into the common room, Madam Pomfrey trailing behind her.

McGonagall stared at Sirius, who quickly got off the table to stand beside me for some reason. Her eyes trailed across the rest of the group, who were holding various cookies and cups full of Butterbeer. She cleared her throat.

"I'm here to collect Miss Potter," she said, and all eyes went straight to me. "You were released for the game, but alas, you must go back to the hospital wing until you are sleeping regularly again and not blacking out."

"But classes," I said, not moving.

"Miss Potter," was all she said, everyone still staring at me. And then, the pressing darkness that had been at the edge of my vision all day, took on a sudden force and I fell to my knees, groaning, knowing what was to come.

_I was being led into a large hall, filled with white faced Ministry judges, by a tall skinny redhead who seemed far too young to be so far up in the Ministry. I tried to keep a mask of fear and hoped that I didn't look too much like the Jenica Potter who had stood here so many years ago. _

_I sat down nervously on the edge of my chair, which Dumbledore had given to me and stared up at Fudge, who was leaning down menacingly. _

_"Full name?" he barked, his voice rebounding against the glass walls. _

_I gulped, I hadn't thought about a middle name. "Arabella Doreen Figg." Doreen sounded good. Very wizardish…_

_"And who exactly are you?" was his reply, as cold as I remember from school. He always did carry himself a little too highly._

_"I'm a resident of Little Whinging, close to where Harry Potter lives," I answered, shaking, hoping he couldn't see right through my web of lies that Dumbledore and I had thought up. _

_"We have no record of any witch or wizard living in Little Whinging other than Harry Potter," spoke up Amelia Bones from her seat near Fudge. She looked so much older than I remembered. I swallowed again. "That situation has always been closely monitored, given…given past events."_

_"I'm a Squib. So you wouldn't have me registered, would you?" Another lie. I had swiped the records years ago after…it happened. They didn't even remember that a Jenica Potter existed. Except in the backs of their minds. Amelia would probably remember. _

_"A Squib, eh? We'll be checking that. You'll leave details of your parentage with my assistant, Weasley. Incidentally, can Squibs see dementors?" he asked, looking down the bench for confirmation. What was I going to do about that? Dumbledore should have thought of something._

_No. "Yes, we can!" I cried, trying to make myself be heard. _

_"Very well. What's your story?" Fudge demanded. _

_"I had gone out to buy cat food from the corner shop at the end of Wisteria Walk, shortly after nine on the evening of the second of August," I recited. That was false too. I had been trailing Harry since Dung had abandoned him. "when I heard a disturbance down the alleyway between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk. On approaching the mouth of the alleyway I saw dementors running—" I purposely said. Keep up the persona Jen…_

_"Running?" asked Amelia, always the voice of reason, even in school, still now apparently. "Dementors don't run, they glide." Thank goodness for her correction on that. She still was a kind soul, even now since the Ministry took her in. _

_"That's what I meant to say. Gliding along the alley towards what looked like two boys," I continued. _

_"What did they look like?" asked Amelia, leaning forward slightly, I could tell. She was hanging on every word I said._

_"Well, one was very large and the other one rather skinny—" Just play dumb for one day, Jen. Then bash some Death Eater heads in tomorrow, after Harry's gone back to the Headquarters. _

_"No, no, the dementors…describe them." She had always had such a knack for interrogating someone and making them feel as if they were as safe as could be._

_"Oh. They were big. Big and wearing cloaks." Act like an actual Squib's response. A Squib that couldn't actually see dementors. _

_"Big and wearing cloaks? I see. Anything else?" I knew that look. She didn't believe me. One last shot. _

_"Yes. I felt them. Everything went cold, and this was a very warm summer's night, mark you." Everything went cold, and I remembered the screams, and the pain…and James, Lily, Mum, Dad…everyone "And I felt…as though all happiness had gone from the world…and I remembered…dreadful things." I shivered, adopting an expression of drinking spoiled milk which I had worn so often many years ago. _

_Amelia's eyes widened and in that moment, I knew she remembered. She remembered me, the actual me, the one I knew she could see through the shambled together person I was playing as. _

_"What did the dementors do?" she finally asked, her voice slightly softened, as if not interrogating a criminal, but a friend. _

_"They went for the boys," I answered. "One of them had fallen. The other was backing away, trying to repel the dementor." And I couldn't help. "That was Harry." It looked so much like James, in his last moments. "He tried twice and produced silver vapor. On the third attempt, he produced a Patronus, which charged down the first dementor and then, with his encouragement, chased away the second from his cousin." So much like James, saving a person he despised. And I had done nothing to help him, just because of my stupid cover that I had to follow. My stupid cover I had put in place. My stupid cover._

_"That's what you saw, is it?" asked Fudge, still not believing me fully. _

_"That was what happened," I answered, shaking from remembering. _

_"Very well. You may go." _

_I quickly glanced around before shuffling out of the hall, back into the darkness, knowing that Amelia would get it right in the end. _

I woke up back in the hospital wing, and I've been awake for about half an hour. It's probably around one in the morning now.

But I can't stop thinking about this dream.

I was lying to the Ministry of Magic. And what was I talking about, the last time I had stood before the court, and what made Amelia realize that it was me, Jenica Potter, back from the dead?

Because I know she did.

And I know these aren't just dreams.

Yours,

Jen

Later:

I just had the worst dream in the living world of humanity. I was dreaming along as usual, a mix between good and bad days for Harry, when I suddenly dreamed of his first Divination class.

Trelawney was teaching it, and as she was going around, she eventually found his teacup. She then predicted his future and that he had the Grimm, but I knew what was really in the cup, and what was really on her mind.

She realized something that I had told her many years ago apparently, according to her thoughts, that for some reason I was getting a streamline of, _the Prisoner escaped, and the boy home again, the cup will show and the leaves will tell, only then will I return home._

Though I haven't seen myself in any of the other dreams past Harry's third year, which is slightly strange.

But anyway. I should sleep. Good night,

Jen

X

_**A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW(s) AND THE FOLLWERS/FAVORITING! IT MADE MY DAY AND NOW I'M REALLY HAPPY. THANK YOU. AND THANK YOU FOR READING, ALL OF YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL. Please review, it makes people smile and spreads joy throughout the land. Saying anything would be enough. But if you're running from some greater evil, please go stop that greater evil. Thanks for being a hero guys. -Eluse**_

_**{To Desi: PLEASE DON'T DIE!}**_


	23. Day Number Six

February 10, 1974

I really just, by this time, want to get out of the Hospital Wing. I've read all my books that Lily's brought down, and even though Lily, Emma, and Lina spent the day here in the Hospital Wing, I'm getting kind of tired of staying in here constantly.

Lily told me that after I fainted, Sirius caught me and everyone in the tower 'just stared at the two of you as James and Sirius dragged you out of the tower.'

She said that everyone asked them questions like, "Has she been fainting like that a lot?" And they didn't know how to reply.

I told them that it was normally dreams, but ever since I got back on a semi-normal sleeping schedule (going to sleep at one or two in the morning on a good night) I had had this darkness, or tiredness that always followed me around.

Madam Pomfrey sprung on me then, telling my friends to leave saying, "If you'd just told me that last week, I could have done something before now!" She then bustled around, muttering to herself before she gave me a small bottle, saying, "Drink this when you feel tired during the day, it should hold it off until nighttime." She thrust it into my hands.

"So I can go now?" I asked.

She nodded frantically. "Yes, GO! But you should always have someone with you."

So I left, and I'm in the hallway leading away from the Hospital Wing. It's so good to be finally free. (And alone)

Jen

Later:

I finally am back in my own bed. Merlin it feels good. GOOD NIGHT JOURNAL.

Jen

X

February 11, 1974

Today was my first day back, and I don't think a lot of my teachers expected me to have my work done, and I did, and I even knew what was going on in the lesson because I had read. All. My. Bloody. School. Books. In. The. Hospital. Wing.

Lily tells me that that sentence is apparently horrible grammar.

Jen

Later:

For once in my life, I think I have actually gotten a good grade in Divination because I didn't mouth off to Mopsus. Which was quite an achievement thank you very much. I managed to turn in my dream diary this month without any of my actual dreams inside of it and Mopsus didn't get a chance to read it before the end of the class, which was another plus.

It was actual quite fun to not have to defend myself or my dreams from being reported to the whole class. And Sirius didn't even make one cheesy remark the whole time and James managed to restrain himself from asking Lily out at lunch or on the way to the classroom. Which was good.

So far, everything seems normal.

Jen

X

February 14, 1974

Today, unfortunately, is a day of great sorrow. James asked Lily out, she refused, but when Adam Johnson (Ravenclaw 3rd year) stopped by the table at lunch, to ask her to the Hogsmead weekend this Saturday, she excepted. James was furious, I could tell, but he joked it off by asking Erma Doyle from Ravenclaw in our year to go with him. She excepted.

I got asked by Arnold Pervez (my year), a Hufflepuff of no importance. I turned him down, only to get asked by ANOTHER Hufflepuff. Jacob Boot, a fourth year, told me, when I turned him down, that for some reason, all the guys had told each other I was apparently an interest for him (the boys, not him Jacob Boot).

I told him to bugger off, except not so nicely and then proceeded to try and skip all my classes, but Lily forced me not to and we attended the two hours of Care of Magical Creatures and Study of Ancient Runes after lunch. Emma was laughing the whole day at me, and Lina was just staring at all of the boys with a wistful smile on her face whenever one got close enough to ask me out…again.

I REFUSE ALL MALES. AND I REFUSE ALL FEMALES WHO WANT TO DATE ME.

Love,

Jen

(Though, I do love you, my journal, for you can never talk back to me)

(Or ask me out on a date)

X

February 17, 1974

Today was a Hogsmead weekend. I went stag with Emma and Lina and Remus. Peter had to serve detention and Remus said that he was helping Lina with her homework, and they were just going to sit in Three Broomsticks and study instead of the Library.

Emma and I aren't so sure they're getting a lot of studying done, but as Lina had been upset last night that she didn't have a date, we had finally agreed that the two of them were in fact studying, not snogging their faces off. Which they shouldn't be doing even if they are going out. Seriously, fourth year is even too young to be doing that in my opinion.

So we left Lina and Remus in the Three Broomsticks, agreeing to meet up after lunch and we then went around the shops, looking around. It was quiet funny actually, to walk into Madam Puddifoot's with Emma and watch as her eyebrows found their way up to her hair line as she came over.

"Do you want a seat?" she asked, eying the two of us. She knew both of us, I could tell, from the various descriptions of the two best female pranksters in the school.

"No, actually," I answered. "We're looking for my brother, James Potter, perhaps you've heard of him?"

"Or Sirius Black, either one would do," added Emma, a grin slowly creeping onto her face.

Madam Puddifoot just pointed dumbly to a corner where James was sitting with a girl.

Suddenly, I grabbed onto Emma's arm, trying to blink the darkness from showing me another memory. Or future memory, whatever you like.

"Emma," I groaned, "the bottle…" And with that, I fell to my knees, and fainted. The last thing my eyes registered before they closed was Madam Puddifoot's expression as I fell, unconscious, onto her floor.

_James was sitting in the corner booth of the small coffee shop with a pretty Chinese girl who reminded me slightly of Emma. _

_Except, as I drew nearer, it wasn't James and Emma, it was Harry and a girl. A name flew up behind my eyes, _Cho Chang. _Had Emma gotten married?_

_There was no doubt an awkwardness in the air as I drew closer to the two of them. _

_"JEN?" yelled a voice, and I was pulled _out of my dream.

I was lying on the floor of the incredibly pink shop, staring up into the face of Sirius Black. Along with James and Emma, but Sirius's was right over mine. I could see an incredibly angry blonde standing behind him, huffing. I could imagine the conversation later.

"Jen?" James asked, pushing Sirius aside and grinning down at my eyes that perfectly mirrored his before standing up and saying, "Never fear people! Jen is alive!"

I kicked him in the shin, causing him to topple on top of Sirius. That made everyone laugh as Emma hauled me to my feet. Sirius threw James off of himself and stood up, but before he could retaliate the blonde said, "We're done!"

"Wha…?" was Sirius answer, still looking at me. It was quiet funny, really.

"We're done! You're obviously more interested in _her—_" She shot a spitefully glare at me "—than me!"

"She's practically my sister!" he cried, tearing his gaze away from me. "I'm no more interested in her than I'm interested in Remus!"

I nearly choked on my laughter. There had been rumors already about the two boys, and what they did in broom closets. Not saying that I may or may not have started them or anything. You know…but I mean. I am the best prankster in Hogwarts. (I didn't completely start them. I merely heard it, then passed it on to Lina, who actually did most of the spreading.)

Everyone knows that

Jen

Later:

Sirius demanded that I tell him what had been so funny at Madam Puddifoot's when he was talking to the blonde who is apparently named Veronica.

I didn't tell him.

He pretty much almost blew up the entire common room, demanding to know what was funny, until Olivia said, "REMUS!"

He paled and then stomped up to his room. Everyone turned towards Olivia who was blushing madly. "I only was asking for help!" she defended.

It was…funny? I dunno, there has to be a better word.

Love,

Jen

X

Lily laughed as James just stared at the book.

"What the ruddy flying f—" he muttered.

"James!" grinned Lily, swatting his arm playfully, or not so playfully, he couldn't decide.

"Sirius and Remus?" he laughed.

"Don't wake up Harry," muttered Lily, glancing at the stairway.

"I remember that rumor!"

"As do I," smiled Lily, reaching for the journal. "My turn."

X

**_A/N: As promised, your chapter. I still don't own Harry Potter unfortunately, though I do own my voice which will be singing far too much this Friday/Saturday...ALTOS FOR THE WIN! YEA YeA? Love-Eluse. _**

**_P.S. PLEASE REVIEW_**

**_P.P.S. The update on Saturday might be a bit late. Just a warning. Though if I forget, I will, as promised, post two on Sunday. _**


	24. Birthday Freedom

May 25, 1974

It's around noon and Emma was let out this morning, Lily came round this morning, saying that she would try and remember to get the homework for me, James, and Lina.

I forgot, Sirius got let out too.

Madam Pomfrey let Lily bring down my Muggle chess set so I've been playing James and Lina. I keep winning. James got close one time.

Later, I've got to go beat Lina again.

Jen

Later:

I AM FREE! Poppy let us out saying that she thought we could breathe normally and that she would have let me out this morning, had it not been for the fact that James would have automatically run out of the Hospital Wing, only to be breathing to hard and have to come back.

That's the tricky thing with broken ribs. They have to grow back correctly or you have to break them…again.

Anyway, it's good to be back in my own bed again and listen to Alice yell at Olivia to give her back her Herbology notes and Potions Essays. And Emma ramble on about how she needs to work on her Arithmancy more or something along those lines.

But Lina isn't back to complain about her chasing skills and how she could get better. And Lily's off somewhere, tutoring someone.

Merlin it's so boring here.

Jen

X

March 27, 1974

Oh my broomstick!

I almost forgot my own birthday today!

Lily jumped on my this morning shouting, "GET UP JENICA IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Except it was only in three part harmony, as Emma, Alice, and Lina normally sing along. Olivia can't sing. Never ask her to sing, she's about as good as Sirius, who sounds like a banshee.

We're just too polite to tell her. Not him though. He deserves no reservations for telling him he's awful at singing.

So anyway, we visited Lina before we went down to breakfast, to find her asleep, but Madam Pomfrey said she had slept well, no nightmares or anything. I got more of my bottle for the blackness that creeps up sometimes. And then she gave me something else.

"Your mother gave me something similar when I was your age," she said, handing me a leather bound book. (Good thing too, I'm nearly out of pages here.)

I thanked her by hugging her and then went off to lessons with Lily and Emma. It was awesome to have the first hour off because of Astronomy last night. But we had Herbology and Professor Kettleburn asked me if I was going go faint again. I told him no, though there was a likely hood of me doing that and I caught the glance that Emma and Lily threw me about it.  
I don't care. I don't want to be in the Hospital Wing on my birthday. No one should be.

Anyway, James is in that class too, and so we got a lot of, "Happy Birthdays, Twins!" and "Happy Birthday Jen, Birthday to you James."

I don't get it either. Then there was lunch, Emma, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Peter dragged the two of us down to the kitchens, which the boys had apparently found and we were going to have a private lunch with cake before Emma said, "Let's take this up to the Hospital Wing, Lina remember."

So we did, floating the food behind us and bursting into the Hospital Wing to find Lina eating some soup and grimacing. We had a grand lunch before we had to go to lessons and Lina had to sit there. So I told her to "Freak out the other patients." Poppy almost killed me then I think.

So then we went to ANOTHER lesson for Care of Magical Creatures, and then to Double History of Magic, which I almost skived off, but Lily asked me if it was really worth it to get detention, we could just talk in the back of class. We ended up confusing Professor Binns by giving our names, but messed up.

Jenishia Pooter. Lillian Evanchuck. Emily. Emily. NO LAST NAME.

Ah…that gets him every time.

Other than that, everything has pretty much been amazing. I'm writing this in an alcove on the way to Herbology, Lily's shouting at me to hurry up.

Jen

Later:

It's nearing one in the morning and I really should just write another entry but as some of these events concern yesterday, I shan't.

So anyway, when we went to dinner, Lily wouldn't let me eat much because she 'wasn't hungry' so she dragged me off with Emma up to the Hospital Wing where we visited Lina for a few minutes as she gave me a gift and said, "I hope you have a good birthday, Jen!"

I wanted to stay but she told me to go with Emma and Lily back to the common room where a surprise party was waiting for me (Lily hadn't let me go back at all during lunch or any of the breaks).

It was great fun, and everything, but it wasn't the same without Lina shouting in my ear, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENICA HAYLEY HAILYANA POTTER!" during the cake.

So anyway, it was fun.

Fun. Except for the fact that around eleven I blacked out. Some of the seventh years were worried I had drunk Firewiskey, but Lily, who had been watching me, told them no apparently. This is what happened.

_"Where are we going?" I demanded of the girl in front of me. She looked European, a bit snooty too. _

_"Vhere are ve going?" she repeated, a very strong Russian accent. "Ve are going to the Velcome House for visitors."_

_I nodded, letting her pull me along. "What does that mean?"_

_She stopped, looking at me carefully. "Vhere are you from?"_

_"England, originally. But I just came from Japan," I answered. _

_"Vhy are you here?"_

_"To stop the dark from rising?" My voice went up at the end accidentally, framing it like a question. _

_"Have you heard of Mort?" her accent was gone, replaced with something else, as if it were older than anything I had ever heard. "Of the Dark Lord?"_

_I nodded. She turned on her heel, grabbing my wrist. "Come on then," she insisted, dragging me back down the street. "Ve are going to the Wilhelm_** (Pronounced Vil-helm like how they say William in Germany)**_."_

_"William?" I asked, recognizing the German way of saying it. She looked at me carefully as if not knowing quite who I was. _

_"Vho are you?"she demanded at last, after a few minutes staring at my face. "You look familiar."_

_"Erm, I'm Hailyana Hawthorne," I answered. "I came here to help defeat the Dark Lord."_

_"Come vith me."_

At last a dream that ends in a place I can relate to and make sense of it.

Anyway, I really need to sleep, I have Transfiguration first thing in the morning, then double Charms, then after lunch, double Divination, then double Herbology.

It is going to be a long day.

Love,

Jen

X

_**A/N: Since it is Sunday where I am technically. I will post another chapter. Blur blur blur. I don't own Harry Potter. Thank you for reading/following/favoriting/reviewing. Please REVIEW! THANK YOU SO MUCH. **_


	25. Brain Hating

James looked at Lily over the top of the journal. "Did Jen ever tell you any of these dreams that she was having?" he asked. Lily looked up at him, her green eyes staring into his.

"No, she didn't," she finally answered. "I thought she stopped having them when she stopped screaming at night."

"Hmm…" was his only reply before continuing.

X

March 31, 1974

HULLO AGAIN.

Nothing much really happened today. Lina's still in the Hospital Wing and I just wish she would get better. Madam Pomfrey pulled James, Sirius, Emma, Olivia, Taylor, and I aside today in the common room.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it would be a good idea for Lina to play Quidditch anymore. At least not for this year," she said, looking straight at Taylor, who's captain and the only person not in third year on our team. Which is a bit outrageous.

"But…" was Taylor's only response, before he stormed away, trying not to blow apart.

"I don't know if I'm going to be continuing either," said Emma lightly. "The only reason I joined was because of my parents and they don't pay attention anymore and ever since my wrist was broken, I can't really write as well with my right hand, let alone catch a snitch or something…" she trailed off.

I stared at her along with James and Sirius.

"Let me guess, you two are leaving too?" asked Sirius looking between me and Olivia.

"The whole team can't be guys, now can it?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I'm still breathing aren't I?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love Quidditch, but next year I really need to study more and…"

The four of us turned to look at her like she was mad. "_You've _got to study?" I asked.

"Um…yea," was her only response.

James swore. "If you've got to study, then I'm going to fail all my classes," Olivia said, throwing him a glare.

We made fun of her until Lily came over wanting to play chess or something to that effect. She was probably tired of sitting on the couch all alone. James, of course took that opportunity to ask her out, to which she declined saying, "I don't like Quidditch." Which was an outright lie, but none of us who knew that bothered to correct her.

The rest of the common room was laughing at James and Sirius as we walked away.

It was quite funny. So anyway, we had no choice but to go up to our room for at least an hour and that eventually turned into a game of truth or dare that I won't write because…well it's teenage girls playing truth or dare.

Oh my gosh, I should invent a game called Truth or Date. You tell the truth or you have to date your worst enemy.

That would get James and Lily together so quickly that it wouldn't even be funny.

But at the same time, I wouldn't want to do that to my best friends.

Love,

Jen

X

June 14, 1974

Er…hiya! I've been _super _busy. Eh, that's a lie. The truth is that I kind of forgot this in a broom closet when I was studying in there (don't ask, you really don't want to know) when this couple came in, practically tearing each other's clothes off. I nearly hurled. Unfortunately they didn't hear me or see me as all they could see was each other's bare bodies, and that was all I could see, and it wasn't a very pleasant sight, mark my words!

So anyway, just as the boy was fumbling with the girl's bra, I stood up, dropping my books on the floor.

The two of them looked at me strangely and I left.

I hope to Merlin I never run into them again. Ever.

So yea…not much has happened in the last few months. I saw Lily and James die a couple more times, and Harry at a train station multiple times, but nothing major.

Everything seems perfect right now you, school's almost out, but it's not and we can still see each other practically every day (which sometimes is horrible).

Though last night, which is the cause for me trying to urgently to find this I had a dream.

From what I could tell it was probably Harry's sixth year and he was standing on the Astronomy tower, hidden by James's invisibility cloak. Malfoy's son was there pointing his shaking wand at Dumbledore and he seemed to be debating things in his mind deeply. Things went on, some other Death Eaters (I've come to understand that's what they're called) came up and eventually Snape burst up into the tower, pushing Malfoy's son out of the way.

Dumbledore said two words that have stuck in my mind, "_Please Severus." _And then Snape killed him.

Snape kills Dumbledore.

I really hate my brain a lot.

Jen

X

June 30, 1974

Wow. A lot really has happened this year. I got over an addiction and I ended up in the Hospital Wing a lot. Too much for my liking. Sirius started to be semi likable and Remus was pretty helpful in Divination, though I was probably more help there as Mopsus likes me more. (He keeps muttering about how Remus will just go to the dogs some day)

Though it seems kind of trivial, really, if you think about it. Going to the dogs can't be that bad can it?

I should not have said that.

Lily's calling for me to come back to reality to play some card games that she's trying to teach Lina.

Love,

Jen

X

July 18, 1974

Yet again, I am pressed with the concerns of you because I forgot you in the library one day when Sirius, Remus, and Peter were over (which I don't get, we spend 90% of the year with them) and Sirius hid this in the library somewhere. Remus told me that night at dinner when my parents had gone away after they finished. I was so happy, I wanted to hug him. I did and Sirius just laughed.

So yup…I'm going to go prank them now, though maybe not Remus, he probably doesn't deserve it.

Jen

Later:

Never mind, he did. I just discovered he was behind the prank on the train which I forgot to write about, where they unleashed yellow canaries into our compartment, wreaking Lina's hair and my Herbology homework that I had already finished for the summer that she was checking over, leaving me to rewrite the entire thing.

WHICH SUCKS.

So yea…And then he proceeded to say that he hadn't known it was going into our compartment and I said, "You shouldn't have wished that on anyone.

ARGH!

Jen

Later:

I just woke up from a dream. Another one, I know.

_"Jen?" asked a fairly familiar voice, I recognized it as Remus's after a second. _

_"Hmmm?" I asked back, looking up from my books._

_"I never got how you were so far ahead," he replied, frowning slightly. "You're even farther ahead than me."_

_"I study at night," was my only reply, Remus couldn't be added to the people who knew. That would only put him in danger. Very serious danger. It had been a wonder that he hadn't been recruited yet. _

_"Really? Lily told James when he asked her that you sleep at night generally," Remus raised an eyebrow. _

_"I'm telling you," I answered, leaning in across my book. "It's nothing."_

_"I'm merely concerned about my girlfriend," he muttered, leaning in too. But before our lips met, someone plopped down in the chair next to me and said, "Ew, keep it down will you?" _

_I pulled back, looking at him. "What are you doing here, S—"_

I didn't see the person, but why was I going to kiss Remus? I thought I was going to end up with Sirius? WHAT IS GOING ON MY DEAR SWEET BRAIN? And why were we in Hogwarts?

Argh, you see this is why I'm frustrated, ON TOP OF BEING FRUSTRATED.

Yours Grudgingly,

Jen

X

_**A/N: AH A LOVE TRIANGLE! AH! Sadly you won't get that full story for about...erm...at least 30 some chapters...I think. I dunno, it's one in the morning and I had a huge concert and I am rambling so yea. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY REVIEW! IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! (Though side effects may be thinking about what you just read) Yea, I haven't suddenly gotten the rights to Harry Potter in the few seconds between these two posts, so yea. HAVE A WONDERFUL SUNDAY/MONDAY/TUESDAY and I WILL SEE YOU ON WEDNESDAY!**_


	26. Birthdays

July 21, 1974

Today I woke up and ate breakfast. And did nothing.

I have no idea why you needed to know that journal.

Jen

X

July 31, 1974

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY! In the future! Though I woke up crying because my brain decided that it would be a brilliant idea for me to get a dream of Lily and James celebrating Harry's first birthday. Which was pretty much, not so fun.

For me at least.

'Cause I got to sit there and wonder where the hell I was on my nephew's birthday.

And I was reading through these things because I have nothing better to do this summer as I've already finished my homework and pranking James can only go so far at home without Mum and Dad noticing, and I noticed Susan.

That girl and I've been thinking about it. James and Lily didn't have her, did they? But she looks so much like me. I dunno, I just thought I should mention her because yea…she seems slightly important.

Jen

Later:

I just had this dream as I fell asleep in the library.

_"Jen, what are you doing?" demanded Remus, glaring at me. "I thought I told you to be careful."_

_"Jen, you've been far too reckless the past week. We don't care if you've seen yourself in the future," added Sirius, joining his friend in glaring at me. "It's no excuse to try and spread the word of You-Know-Who's evililty."_

_"That's not a word Sirius," Remus and I muttered at the same time. He smiled at me gently, and I could already see the professor side of him. _

_"Who cares? We—I only care about the fact that it's a huge possibility that you might not come home one day!" Sirius remarked. _

_"That's a possibility for everyone! Arthur could get killed on his way up his garden path to see Molly! Lily could die on one of her raids to the Ministry! James could die any day that he patrols for the Order! There is no stopping the danger, Sirius. It's unrealistic. Learn to live in _reality, _we can't all live within our parent's aprons," I hissed, knowing that I had hit a dissonant cord in both of them. _

_"Take that back!" demanded Sirius, standing up and pointing his wand at me. I crossed my arms and smirked at him. _

_"Why should I, it's the truth. We all could die at any moment, it doesn't make sense to be at each other's throats if we're trying to fight the same evil," I stated. Remus stood up, putting a hand on his shoulder. _

_"Padfoot, she has a point," he murmured, thinking I couldn't hear. "You could die when you go with James."_

_"Yes, well, I couldn't live without her," he shot back, his eyes still not leaving me. _

_"Think about what would happen to me if you died," I demanded, joining their party of standing up. _

_"You'd keep on living. You're strong…I'm not," he answered, lowering his wand and sinking back into his chair. "Your Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter, the girl that Voldemort wants to kill himself. You could do anything, be with anyone, and yet you chose me, why?" He looked up at me, gray meeting hazel. I gasped. _

_"Why don't you two just get married already?" demanded Remus, laughing and turning away. _

Then James woke me up telling me that Sirius, Remus, Peter, and he needed to use the library, no doubtless for pranks.

I sure do wish that the girls could have come over at some point over this summer.

Yours,

Jen

Later:

I've been thinking about what I dreamed the last time and what I dreamed earlier today. From what I've concluded, Remus and I dated and then broke up and then Sirius and I got together. But Remus doesn't seem mad…WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE?

I am so confused.

ARGH.

Jen

X

August 2, 1974

Hullo again.

What happened on Jen's News these past few days? Well, Sirius, Remus and Peter came over, wrecked havoc. So I asked Lily, Lina and Emma over. Emma was in China, and Lily was busy trying to get her sister to actually except her and Lina was too busy trying to cram her homework in because her mom wouldn't let her go anywhere until her homework for the summer was done, 'cause she had put it off.

So I was left there, the ONLY Vagabond in a household of boys (Mum and Dad went to some Ministry deal). But luckily around an hour after Mum and Dad had left, Lily showed up saying she was fed up with Tuney.

I didn't ask, I was merely glad that she had showed up.

So she stayed the night and then…yea…

She left and I was once again sent into pain. I really should talk to Mum about keeping them away from me.

I mean, our house is huge, what's the point of it if I can never manage to get away from them wherever I go?

Jen

Later:

Lily left a few hours ago and then I took a nap 'cause we were up late and stuff. This is what I dreamed before Sirius and Remus woke me up.

_"What are you doing?" shouted Lily, glaring at me as I tore through the house she shared with James. She was holding her stomach as she tried to follow me quickly. She was pregnant. "That was the vase Petunia got me! I told her I wouldn't break it!" She sighed, pointing her wand at the vase as it reformed itself and went back onto the stand it had been standing on. _

_"I don't care Lily! I need to find James!" I shouted back, running up the stairs to check the upstairs bedrooms. _

_"I've already told you, he's on a raid to the Malfoy Manor!" she shouted up the stairs, too tired to follow me. "Just come down here and talk to me for a moment!"_

_I stopped and trudged down the stairs and into the living room where she was sitting. _

_"What?" I demanded, acting like a teenager again. _

_Lily ran a hand through her hair. "Why the heck are you running around like he's dying?" I only glared at her. _

_"Your hormones are so annoying," I muttered, standing up. "I'm going to the Malfoy's."_

_"Jenica!" she cried, raising an eyebrow. "Stop this!" _

_"Stop what?" I asked, stopping by the door. _

_"Stop insisting that you—you know the ending to everything!"_

_"I don't insist it, Lily," was my only reply as I left the room. _

Then I woke up suddenly, gasping for breath, with my face centimeters from Sirius's.

They were telling me lunch was ready.

Did they really have to do that?

Jen

X

Lily reached out to stop her husband from turning to the next entry. "Dear," she said quietly, "it's almost four in the morning."

James glanced up at the clock on the wall and looked back down at his wife. "I know, but this is just so, interesting," he muttered, flipping through the rest of the journal. "She had so much more to her than I ever knew, and I was her twin."

"From the sounds of it, you still are," Lily muttered, marking their place with the piece of paper with the lipstick mark on it from Sirius. She carefully put it into the chest and shut it. She watched the fire glow and crackle for a few minutes before she stood up, reaching out for James.

He didn't say anything as he leaned down to kiss her on the lips before the two of them went to bed.

_**End of Part III**_

_**X**_

_**A/N: Oh gosh I have to start writing a lot more for this.. I only have like two buffer chapters left. MERLIN. {I don't own Harry Potter, but I like these fancy brackets}**_

_**To Guest Jenica: THAT IS SO COOL. I HOPE YOU LIKE THE STORY. **_


	27. Freaky Nightmare Alert

"James, do you know where Sirius is?" called Lily from the kitchen as she made dinner for their friends.

"No," he called back, while trying to hold Harry and clean up the living room with his wand, which Harry was insisting on grabbing every once and awhile.

"He was supposed to be here five minutes ago," shouted Lily, storming in the room, her arms crossed and hair frizzy like it used to get when they had potions in school.

James held back a laugh, smiling. "Nice hair, dear."

"Shut up," was her only reply as she stormed away. "You know what, I don't want to see them! Tell them I'm done!"

"But dear, they want to see Harry!"

"LIKE I CARE?!"

X

"You survived," James murmured, four hours later as the two of them sat on the couch before the fire cuddling. Harry was sound asleep and Emma was just then sneaking down from upstairs where she had been taking a look around with Remus. Peter had cancelled, the only one who the rest had wanted to check on. Lina had insisted they show Harry how to ride the mini broomstick that Sirius had gotten him for his birthday, but to no avail. He just fell off onto his bum.

"I know," whispered Lily, snuggling into his side. "Let's read some more."

He pulled the box towards them, opened it and began to read.

X

August 28, 1974

Hullo again. As it turns out Mum and Dad had this secret plan to celebrate our birthdays early by going to France for two weeks (one for me and one for James). It was extremely fun, the only down side is that I forgot this in at home so yea…I was stuck in France with my brother for a week.

Anyway, yesterday Lily, Emma, and Lina managed to come over and we spent the day talking. Just talking and I don't quite know how we managed to do it.

But anyway, it was a good normal day.

Well as normal as things can get around Wizards, Lily and Emma tell us of things like bikes and movies which they swear they'll take us to sometime. Lina even has gone to this thing and I haven't. They all swore we'd go out next summer, as there isn't much time left before school starts. (Or during the holidays, we could…)

Love,

Jen

Later:

FREAKY NIGHTMARE ALERT!

_"What are you talking about Remus?" I shouted, throwing the Quaffle at him. We were on the pitch after a game. "I don't stare 'lovingly' at Sirius! I do that to you!"_

_"Jen, I'm not stupid and neither are you. I've seen the way you have to mentally prepare yourself to kiss me. And anyway, I figured out what you said in third year in Divination class," he said, taking a step closer to me. "And all those times James complained about you dreaming about his best friend, the times when you screamed his name in Divination…"_

_"I've gotten over that…mild infatuation," I muttered, swinging my broom around almost like it was a real broom. _

_"Jen, I admit that I might have been attracted to you at some point, but I've been more attracted to Peter," he said, throwing up his hands. I winced. _

_"Ouch. I'm really that ugly?" I asked. _

_"No, no, Jen. I meant to say that I've been more attracted to Emma or Lily or Lina," he muttered quietly. _

_I smirked, taking a step towards him. "So we're both being honest here? I was just using you to make Sirius jealous and to try and to prove to myself that I wasn't going to end up following my dreams, even if they are scientifically proven to be correct because I didn't want certain things to happen that took place in the dreams to happen, such as Susan or Sirius."I paused at his expression. "Or this."_

_"Who's Susan?" he muttered. _

_"Oh just my unborn child that I have yet to conceive," I muttered, not bothering to watch his expression, which had probably been amazement and shock. "So what were you using me for?"_

_"To make Lina jealous," he mumbled shyly. "How well do you think it worked?" _

_"My question would be how long are you two going to piddle on the field, you're rubbing it in my face far too long you know. Just kiss and leave," muttered Sirius, throwing a glare at the two of us and he walked around with the rest of the House Teams trying to find the bloody Bludger that went missing during the game. _

_I turned and smiled at him, glancing at Lina who had been watching the two of us from the stands. "Oh sure Sirius, I'd love a kiss," I said, throwing down my broom and kissing him full on the mouth. _

_To hell with life._

To hell with everything I've known apparently. Does this future me not care about the future at all? Or has she grown so cold and selfless and selfish that she has become a monster and wishes to only destroy her friends farther?

I can't wait to grow up to be her!

(Please note the sarcasm)

Love,

Jen

X

August 31, 1974

I'm all packed this year! James isn't, it's almost too unbearable to watch him scramble around trying to gather up all his belongings and shove them in his trunk, which Mum has refused to put the charm on like she has mine, (an enlargement charm). It was quite nice to rub it in his face until she told me she could easily take it away if I didn't cook dinner.

So this is me, cooking dinner. Though I don't think I was supposed to employ the help of Sunny, our house elf who we freed ages ago, but she still hasn't left.

I at least kneaded the bread…and ate most of it and she scolded me.

Ah well, I'll try and help her more.

Jen

X

September 1, 1974

Hullo again, I'm waiting for the rest of my friends to show up on the train. It's really quite boring, Mom took my cat and kept her home, so I don't have her anymore, I think it had something to do with the fact that I kept bringing her to class and saying to McGonagall, "She's so lonely up in the tower…" I think she got the wrong message.

So yup. I'm here alone, James is in the compartment beside mine, and I suspect that we won't be not sharing compartments soon, because of their habit of somehow managing to demolish at least one of their walls within the train ride. It's become such a problem that they've had to make arrangements with the driver so they can get fixed.

Hell, that's a lie.

Don't believe it.

Love,

Jen

X

September 2, 1974

Today was a bore and so was yesterday. Everything now seems really, really boring for some reason. So yea, I dunno why you needed to know that, so have fun.

Jen

X

_**A/N: Still don't own Harry Potter. PLEASE REVIEW. THEY MAKE ME HAPPY AND THUS I WANT TO DO NICE THINGS TO THE CHARACTERS. LIKE JENICA. **_


	28. Brilliant Back Up Plans

September 13, 1974

Hullo again, I'm stupid.

I turned in an essay for Divination, two weeks early, because _Lily _told me it was due today, and it's not. So anyway, I was embarrassed in front of my entire class. And guess what the topic was, dreams we had over the summer, so I made up some random crap that consisted along the lines of, Unicorns dancing in the meadow before the vultures eat them and then grow immortal. Or, I actually like this one, Bunnies eat carrots.

Yea, I know. I'm next Seer material.

So yup, that's what happened today. Except I'm also writing during lunch (skipping it too, I might add) for a more pressing matter. My actual dream last night. This is what it was:

_The school was abandoned at such a late hour and as I climbed up the Grand Stair Case all I met were a few teachers and ghost, but non stopped me. I was in the Order and was allowed access to Dumbledore anytime I wanted. _

_"Potter," cried McGonagall as she fell in line with me. "What brings you here so late?"_

_I looked at her. "It's Voldemort," I said quietly. "And Snape has something to do with it."_

_McGonagall pursed her lips but escorted me to the Headmaster's office like so many times before. "See to it that what needs to be done is done," she said shortly before letting me into the office. "I know you have the best intentions in mind." I nodded before riding up the staircase to Dumbledore's office. _

_"Come in." _

Was all I heard before I woke up to the sound of Lily screaming bloody murder about something.

She sure will pay for it.

In my screams.

Guess what's not going up tonight. SILENCING CHARMS!

Love,

Jen

X

September 14, 1974

Lily nearly killed me today. I'm currently hiding in the broom closet by the Astronomy Tower hoping to Merlin she doesn't find me.

Or Sirius.

Because from my dreams we seem to really like the tower in seventh year.

Thank Merlin I've got three or four years until that happens.

Love,

Jen

Later:

I wasn't found by Lily or Sirius, but by Sybil. Yes. Mopsus's little friend that he wanted me to meet last year. Wonderful. Just bloody wonderful.

She pretty much just wanted to talk to me about the future, to which I wasn't so thrilled. I mean, sure this year she was actually taking Divination instead of just hanging out in that Tower because she's a little addled in the brain. So yea, she trapped me up there and then I escaped somehow and it was brilliant.

Not that she had trapped me, but the way I got out of it.

I jumped off the tower. The only down side was that I was in fact late for Quidditch practice on this fine Saturday afternoon. And the team had been flying around the castle looking for me. (They had replaced Lina and Emma because Lina couldn't play and Emma had discovered that she really preferred art to getting hit by bludgers, anyway she'd had to switch to being left handed for good because of that bludger. And Taylor graduated last year and James was named captain.) So there were try outs and sixth year Fabian Prewett and his identical twin brother Gideon got Chaser. And then Emmeline Vance, who is a fifth year got keeper.

James also decided to in-act his "backup plan" for if something like last year happened when half our team got injured. Over half. So yea, that's happening. His 'brilliant back up plan' is for everyone to learn all of the positions. He looked it up, it is legal.

So yea, here comes blocking, and seekering and chasering.

Lily's gonna kill me.

Jen

X

September 15, 1974

Oh Merlin do I hurt. Not only does it hurt down there because brooms are not exactly the most comfortable thing (I need to do something about that, I've been meaning to for years), but I'm not exactly cut out to be a seeker! I mean, I don't get how Emma survived it all! Or Lina and how she got through moving around so much as a chaser! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TAYLOR!

Sorry, a girl just stared at me critically.

Aw shit, they're beginning something stupid, called, "Get to know everyone in your house well." By playing truth or truth and no calling on your friends.

Well this should be fun.

Jen

Later:

I think they'll have to discontinue this by our seventh year. Sirius and James weren't exactly polite to everyone after the fifth round. And it's rather boring to play with 70 something people.

Jen

X

September 20, 1974

Yes, I have survived. But at the cost of my legs and arms. I seriously think that I'll be able to kill James when we graduate.

Ah shit, I shouldn't joke about that. Merlin's pants.

Anywho.

I should go, Lily's calling.

Jen

X

September 25, 1974

Aloha again my dear friends. How do you do. I've been doing splendidly.

NOT! I had the worst dream ever last night. Here ya go.

_"What are you doing?" demanded Sirius as he watched me rampage around the kitchen, throwing knives at the wall and letting them stick there. _

_I screamed into my fist, trying to figure why I was doing this in the first place. But nothing came into my mind. _

_"I've got to die," I muttered finally, letting my fist drop from my mouth and stare up at Sirius. "I've got to die for it to make sense."_

_"What," demanded Sirius, quickly stepping towards me and putting his arms around me. "What are you saying? Jen."_

_I felt a single tear drop from my face and splash onto his hand._

_I shook my head finally, pulling myself up and beginning to pull the knives out of the walls violently and throwing them over to the sink. Sirius just stared up at me from the floor, waiting for me to talk about it. _

_"Just tell me Jenica," he said quietly. _

_I stared at the window. Looking out at the autumn leaves that were just beginning to fall. I swallowed, forcing myself to look back at him. _

_"Whatever happens before next year, just promise me you won't forget I love you?" I asked, letting the tears fall freely down my face. _

_He nodded, his eyes the only thing I could see clearly in the dark kitchen. "I promise Miss Potter."_

SEE. IT'S HORRIBLE I KNOW.

I TOLD SIRIUS BLACK THAT I LOVE HIM.

And I got the distinct impression that I was going to die soon.

Gee. What great fun.

Jen

X

_**A/N: PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW MY LOVELIES. I hope you are well aware of the fact that I still do not own Harry Potter! THANK YOU. **_


	29. The Week of Hallow's Eve

October 17, 1974

Hello, my dear neglected journal. I have been neglecting various things over the last few days and it is not a pretty sight. You wanna know why? BECAUSE IT'S MY BLOODY HOMEWORK AND LILY IS FREAKING OUT OVER IT.

Here is your list of my neglected things:

1 Homework, Homework, Homework.

2 Quidditch Practicing, because I mean, who has time for that? None.

3 Homework again. I can only make up so many false dreams for Divination

4 The five detentions that Professor McGonagall has given me because I didn't do numbers one or two above

5 Yet another detention from Mopsus for mouthing off in class because I didn't want my dream diary read aloud, because yet again I forgot to make up shit.

Love,

Jen

Later:

Wait, scratch that, I now have seven detentions this weekend. And if I miss one, I have to do two more.

JUST KILL ME ALREADY OKAY FATES, I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH MY LIFE.

And while you're at it, send me a dream telling me why the hell I'm like this.

Thank you,

Jen

X

October 18, 1974

Well what do you know, the FATES ANSWERED ME! HAHA! Anyway. Here is what they sent me. Or what I sent myself from the future. Or whatever the heck it is.

_"But why?" I demanded, crossing my arms in front of the tall old, white bearded man who's desk I was pacing in front of. "What do these mean?"_

_"How long have you had them?" asked the man I now recognized as Dumbledore. _

_"Since forever," I answered, finally sitting down in the chair that I had so many times sat in for a different reason, for being in the Hospital Wing too much, to hear dreadful news. "Second year, I think it was."_

_Dumbledore nodded in his mysterious way. "Go on. What was your first dream?"_

_"My first, full dream that freaked me out?" I asked quietly, leaning forward in my chair so my elbows were resting on my legs. "It was one of the happy ones, where I got to see them happily living together." _

_"Who?" asked Dumbledore. _

_"James and Lily, with their son, Harry," I said quietly. "He was so beautiful and the three of them loved each other."_

_Dumbledore smiled a half sad smile. "And the first bad one?"_

_"They died," was my only reply. _

And then, just because the fates hate me, the dream faded to darkness. Gee thanks. I WAS THIS CLOSE TO FIGURING IT OUT.

Jen

X

October 22, 1974

The detentions were just as bad as I probably deserved and Mopsus's was just as horrible as last year's with the Owlry. In fact I had to clean the same floors without magic. And without that handy trick of getting my wand back magically and such.

Mopsus seems to be determined to connect me with Sybil, who is trying far too hard to be my friend. No offence, Sybil, but you're not really my friend type. I tend to go for the sane friends…you know.

I guess I'm one to talk. Look at Lily. Or Emma for Merlin's sake. Lina's the only normal one of the four of us. And Alice and Olivia, I just feel sorry for them.

Love,

Jen

X

October 24, 1974

It seems as though the dreams are getting more repetitive the closer it gets to Halloween. Which I plan on making Lily dress up for, even if she's not on board with it. I mean, I can't explain to her, she has less than ten Halloweens left. Oh Merlin that's depressing. (She has seven)

Why do I do this to myself. Anyway, the real reason to as why I am writing in the middle of the night when Lily tells me that I should not be up at, is because I had one of those dreams, you know. Of course you do, you're my diary. You're smart like that anyway. Anyway, here you are, my latest insanity.

_The steps were cold under my feet as I walked up the stone streets of Privet Drive, where I knew Petunia and Vernon were very unhappily adjusting to the new installment in their home. I smiled at the small girl in my arms as I walked down the street. I had no idea why I was doing this, but I did it anyway. _

_Somehow, with the cool air and the leaves all fallen off the trees, I knew it was long past October the 31st in the year of 1981. James and Lily were dead and Harry was living with the Dursleys. But here I was, acting like any Muggle mother and her child as they walked down the street. _

_As I turned the corner into an especially dark tunnel, I risked using my wand to light the way. But as I pulled it out, it revealed four large figures in white masks. _

_I froze and couldn't do anything as they approached me. _

I woke up just as they were about to reach me. I was so scared, I think it even beats the Lily and James dying one. I mean, I was walking alone, with my child in MUGGLE PLACES. Why did I used magic?

Am I idiotic in the future?

You know what fates, don't answer that one.

Just don't, okay?

Love,

Jen

X

October 25, 1974

I seem to be freaking myself out. Lily says I shouldn't be freaking out, But I am.

Her reason was that exams aren't for ages.

I tried to explain to her that wasn't what I was freaking out about, needless to say, it didn't work.

Jen

X

October 30, 1974

Hallow's Eve. Great fun.

So anyway, my brain decided that it would bless me with the greatest blessing of them all. A dream.

_My hand shook as I read my own obituary in the paper. _

**_Jenica Potter Dead At Last_**

_After what seems like years of leaking information to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Potter has finally left this world after selling out her brother and best friend to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. There have been many conversations of how Black and Potter must have been cohorts in He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's legion of followers…_

_The article went on, but I couldn't see through my tears. "It's not true," I muttered, gripping my wand with my fingers tightly. "I didn't do it. I didn't do it."_

_I kept repeating my mantra as I looked at the worn leather book that was lying flat on the cement floor of my temporary living quarters. I glanced up at the clock and then at the bed, on which a pile of blankets was scattered. _

_"Sleep well, Susan," I whispered before I turned back to the leather book and began to chant. _

_"Rescribo quod fuerit texta tempus fila, ut rupta insinuent fila, non fabula loca vacua repleat invisibili me ex animis abolere, veneatis non, animam perdere in libro, ut currat in pace memini vero viderunt et passionis propter me ita rescribo eam omnes possit non video," I chanted as the room spun around me and swirled in a world of colors. Before I could understand what was happening, I collapsed on the floor as the colors stopped spinning. _

_The cry of the child was all I could hear as the world turned to darkness._

Well…what the hell.

First off, what the heck was that spell? I've never even heard of it, and this is coming from the person who usually reads long books because of her awful sleeping habits that her friends keep on trying to cure.

I almost think this one wins the boat, but I generally don't think it will. The dreams seem to be getting more intense as I get close to the important events.

Really important events.

Love

Jen

_**A/N: Yea, it's like a really long time from Halloween, but I didn't really intend for it to be posted on Halloween, so yea. I still don't own Harry Potter and stuff. ANd I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Oh and if you're thinking this is going to A: turn into a love triangle between Jen:Sirius:Remus look at the dreams. B: a cilche story where Jen has no faults, then you are so wrong. Sorry about that, by the way, a person thought they knew everything about my story from reading one chapter. The first one. So yea. Sorry. ANywho. PLEASE REVEIW, EVEN CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM IS APRICIATED. SO IF YOU HAVE THE TIME. PLEAAAASEEE REVIEW. **_


	30. 1974 Spooks

October, 31, 1974

Well, today was just great. I slept in because it was after all the day after Astronomy, which was great, because I have the second slot, of course, which means I'm up until 1 in the morning for classes. Which is just bloody fantastic. So anyway, I slept in and five minutes before I got up to go down the breakfast, ten minutes before our first class started in the morning. This was the wonderful dream:

_I was standing in the middle of a large room made of black stone. I walked in boldly until I reached the chair covered in chains. _

_"Sit," said the cold voice of Barty Crouch Sr. who I somehow knew by sight. I sat, and immediately the chains flew up around me, binding my wrists to the chair in a steel grip. _

_"There is no need for these, Barty," I said quietly, knowing that they would hear every sound I uttered. _

_"It is better to be safe, than to be sorry," he replied stonily. "Let us begin._

_"Formal hearing of the seventh of Novbember, in offenses to committed to the National Decree of Magical Secrecy by Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter, residence at…er…where do you live?" asked Barty. _

_I smiled slightly. "Is it important? You found me anyway."_

And then the dream faded into darkness.

So that was fun.

So then, during Muggle Studies I fell asleep again only to dream from where I had left off.

_I dazed out as he listed the people who were there, who were mentionable. _

_"—Witness for the defense?" asked Barty, calling out to the empty hearing room. _

_"No one?" he called again. "In that case. The charges that are pressed against Ms. Potter are as follows: she has deliberately used the Muggle world against us and hidden there, as she spread He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's propaganda against the Ministry of Magic, performed far too many spells to say here in the presence of Muggles, as well as pass valuable information to Voldemort._

_I felt like laughing. "Are you Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter?"_

_"Yes," I answered. _

_"Have you committed the accused?"_

_"No," I answered. Barty went on. _

_"Have you or have you not received a warning involving the charges against the accused?" he demanded. _

_"Well of course I have, that's why I'm here," I muttered under my breath._

_"Do you or do you not admit to these crimes?"_

Then after the Professor woke me up halfway through passing time, I went to Transfiguration and showed up a minutes late, and McGonagall totally flipped on me and sent me to sit in the front of the room. Which I of course because apparently I hate myself now, fell asleep in. So I dreamed this:

_"I DO NOT!" I shouted, clenching my fists in the chains. Barty stopped talking. "I AM NOT IN LEAGUE WITH VOLDEMORT!" I shouted, trying to get up. At that moment the chains fell away, and I stood up. Barty and the Magistrate looked too shocked for words. Except the secretary, who smiled shyly at me. _

_I understood. _

_"I hid in the Muggle world because Voldemort was after me. I hid everywhere and you cannot escape from him," I said. But I already knew that the Dementors were coming down on me, ready to suck out my soul. "THIS is exactly what he wants! He wants us to fight each other!" I took a step forward. _

_"And you're falling right into his trap," I whispered, glaring at the hard faced Ministry Workers. _

To which I was so rudely awaken by Professor McGonagall slamming a book onto my desk and shouting, "I would appreciate it kindly Ms. Potter, if you didn't _fall asleep in my class."_ I then of course panicked and ran out of the room, taking only my bag which was over my should as I had never bothered to get out my books.

It's lunch now. At least I hope it still is. Lily's probably scouring the castle for me.

And James will probably find me ages before her.

So long,

Jen

Later:

As it turns out McGongall informed my other teachers that I should be in the hospital wing getting some sleep, so I was sent there at once when I reached my Study of Ancient Runes class.

So here I am, not stuck in the hospital wing, 'cause I refused to go there. Hopefully Professor Appelhof, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year is about as good at remembering stuff as he is at remembering to spell his name wrong instead of Applehof.

That did not make sense.

Lily's probably freaking out, so is Olivia, and Alice, and Lina, and Emma, and James.

Though maybe James will have gotten used to this by now. Hmm…Anyway, I've got to get to class. Appelhof might kill me if he didn't read the notice that I wasn't supposed to be in class.

Later:

As it turned out, he did. But, and I quote, "There is no point in turning away a student who wants to learn." He then proceeded to re arrange the students so I was sitting in the front row next to the windows. And then told Lily, who was seated next to me, to make sure I stayed awake the whole time.

I didn't of course. Lily got wrapped up in her note taking, like she always does, and I fell asleep.

Okay, normally I don't do this, but I don't know what it was. It seems almost like Lupin's furry little problem and such, how he can't control it when he changes.

I've got some theories going, but none of them are solid. I'll have to wait several years to figure these out completely.

Anyway, Cheerio.

Jenica Potter

Later: (Again)

After an hour of sleeping, I finally managed to wake up of my own accord as Professor Appelhof asked me a question on Boggarts. I answered it correctly, but mostly from just reading Lily's word-for-word notes that she had taken down. I must congratulate her on her excellent note taking skills that must contain magic, and bribe her into spilling her secrets to us later, so we can used class time more efficiently to plan pranks. Or according to Lina, think up great ways to get the boys.

Not the Marauders, just to be clear. But other boys. Because they're cute.

Anyway. I need to remember to join Remus and Lily's study group later. They're just beginning to meet up again, and James has asked me to look after them. Stupid boy, like the two of them would ever get involved? Please. Me and Peter are more likely.

Which, would never happen, because I know my fate.

Which sucks.

Of course, you wouldn't know, you're a book that I tell all my feelings to. So tell me, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN ON HALLOWEEN.

I don't care about that sentence's horrible punctuation, Lily (who insists on giving us Muggle spelling lessons for some stupid reason) Who doesn't know how to spell inoccuous inocuous incokuous innouckous innocuous.

What does that even have to do with anything. All this sleeping must be messing with my brain.

HELP ME.

I hope to survive Care of Magical Creatures without being thrown into pits of hell and back, thank you.

Love,

Jenica Hayley Hailyana Potter

Later:

AGAIN.

The feast was good, and I finally woke up when the sun set, which was fun, because we had a bonfire in CoMC and so we just toasted marshmallows and learned about how Muggles sometimes rampaged around on this day in witches costumes as a tribute to the devil.

Lily just laughed.

Over all it was a fun Halloween, except the whole falling asleep in class thing and the fact that I don't remember my dream from DADA. I should, because it had something to do with the future, and I always remember those word for word. Which is strange.

Anyway,

Good night for good,

Jen

**_A/N: WOOT! WOOT! WE HAVE REACHED THIRTY FREAKING CHAPTERS! This is amazing guys. This is the longest story I have every written. EVER. It's great. Anyway. I really hope you can review today! As that would be lovely and everything. Also...I WILL SEE YOU ON SATURDAY...WAIT NO. Guys I'm sorry, I will probably see you Friday/Thursday/Saturday/Sunday as I am going back to my house to clean it out and stuff and so I don't know if I will have internet, if I do. I will post it then, if not I will post it on Sunday. It depends on when I get the chapter written. OKay? Okay. TIFOS. PEACE OUT BABY. _**


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